Behind the soft life aesthetic is discipline, sacrifice, and intention,
Every woman probably put “live a soft life” on their vision board for 2026. We dream of days that flow gently, of waking up without the weight of constant pressure, of living with peace, pleasure, and ease. Social media often presents the soft life as effortless luxury, featuring chic apartments, designer dates, spa days, and picture-perfect travel. It looks polished, calm, and indulgent.
But the truth is far more nuanced. Behind the soft life aesthetic lies unseen work: the discipline, the strategic choices, the sacrifices, and the patience required to build a life that feels gentle without being superficial. The soft life is not simply about what you wear, where you eat, or how your mornings look on Instagram; it’s about building an intentional life, one where every choice protects your peace and aligns with your highest self.
To take us behind the scenes of what it really takes to create a soft life, I spoke with Denise Eseimokumoh, the Editor-in-Chief of Marie Claire Nigeria. In her career and personal life, Denise has mastered the art of balancing achievement with ease. Through her lens, we explore what it truly means to live a soft life — not just as an aesthetic, but as a deliberate, disciplined practice rooted in self-love, resilience, and vision.
For readers who may be meeting you for the first time, how do you describe who you are and the work you do?
My name is Denise, and I am the Editor-in-Chief of Marie Claire Nigeria. I’m a multidisciplinary creative director, cultural entrepreneur, strategist, consultant, and writer.
I’ve been fortunate to work in marketing and editorial leadership, brand development, and high-level cultural consultancy with global tastemakers including EatDrinkLagos, ART X Lagos, Arami Essentials, Zaron Cosmetics, Chowdeck, and Savoir Faire Creative Agency.
When you think about the idea of a “soft life,” what does it actually look and feel like for you?
To me, a soft life is a life of peace, comfort, and freedom. It’s having the ability to wake up slowly, go for a morning walk, and move through my day at my own pace.
A soft life is having time to care for my body, mind, heart, and soul, without constantly feeling rushed, overwhelmed, or pulled in too many directions. It’s choosing gentleness, rest, and presence over stress and survival.
It’s also being able to enjoy beautiful, meaningful experiences with friends and loved ones; the pleasure of travel, fine dining, great sex, and, above all, peace within. A soft life isn’t just about how things look; it’s about how joyful life truly is.
From the outside, the soft life often looks effortless. What does it really take behind the scenes to maintain that sense of ease in your own life?
The soft life looks effortless from the outside, but in reality, it’s built on discipline and self-mastery. For me, those are some of the purest forms of self-love. It means choosing what’s good for me even when it’s not easy or comfortable.
I don’t believe in punishing myself, but because I love myself deeply, I don’t allow myself to do things I know will harm me. The softness comes from that devotion to my own well-being.
It’s also a joy for me to invest in myself. I don’t hesitate when it comes to reading and learning, beauty treatments, eating well, getting enough rest, or saying no when something doesn’t serve me. Though I am gentle with myself, I am fiercely dedicated to my well-being to shield my softness.
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When we watch soft life content online, what do you think people are missing — the parts that don’t make it into the aesthetic?
One of the most overlooked sacrifices behind a soft life is letting go of other people’s opinions and fully centring what you know is good for you. There are over eight billion people in this world, which means there are over eight billion different realities — and no one else gets to define yours.
We see so much yearning online, but not enough being. People forget that to experience anything, you first have to become it. As the metaphysicists say, as within, so without. What you hold and occupy internally is what eventually becomes your external life.
For me, I’m never where people think I am. By the time the outer world catches up, I’ve already shifted into a new frequency. That comes from being deeply devoted to my highest good. Nothing is too good for me. Nothing is out of my league in my reality. If I can imagine it, I can realise it.
But to maintain that version of yourself, you have to make a real sacrifice; you have to let go of the old you. The lazy you; the complaining you; the version that clings to victimhood or negativity. A soft life isn’t about avoiding growth; it’s about becoming someone who no longer tolerates anything less than what aligns with their highest self.
The only person or thing you truly have to sacrifice to live better… is who you used to be.
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How much do relationships, community, and intentional placement shape the life people now describe as “soft”?
Relationships are essential because people are the vehicles through which life moves. You can be incredibly valuable, but that value only multiplies when you place yourself in spaces where it’s seen, and that starts with seeing it in yourself first.
Strategic positioning is really about alignment. It’s choosing environments, communities, and conversations that reflect the version of you you’re becoming. Success isn’t just about what you do; it’s also about visibility. You can’t be afraid to be seen, to be noticed, or to take up space.
You have to hold the belief that people are interested in you and what you have to say. When you carry that energy, the right connections find you. The soft life people admire is often built on those very intentional relationships.
Was there a moment in your life when things felt anything but soft — a season that really tested you and shaped who you’ve become?
When I was sixteen, going on seventeen, I deferred my university admission and decided to seek employment instead. I had barely been to Lagos since I was a child, so stepping into that world felt overwhelming and unfamiliar. A dear friend of mine, Michael Bassey, who affectionately calls me Brownie, helped me secure an interview with Zaron Cosmetics, and that opportunity completely shifted the direction of my life.
But the six-month internship that followed was anything but soft. It was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. I was sad, overwhelmed, and I cried almost every other day.
If not for my friends Joey and Osas, I truly don’t think I would have made it through. I also leaned heavily on my Oma, which is German for “grandmother”, who sent me encouraging messages every day that kept me going.
Even in that tough season, I kept reminding myself, ‘I am here for my future self. It won’t always be like this. This will pass, and I will see better because I am better.’ And it did. That period taught me resilience, faith in myself, and the discipline that now supports the softness of my life today.
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Do you see soft life as something driven by timing and luck, or by intention and preparation?
I don’t believe in luck. I believe in opportunities. And opportunities never meet me unprepared because I’m always clear about where my life is going. Nothing happens by accident.
My friends sometimes call me lucky. My dear friend Mizza calls me Jupiter’s Baby; I’m a Pisces Sun, and Jupiter, the planet of luck, is in Pisces. And as fond as I am of being called lucky, I know no one sees the preparation, the discipline, and the devotion behind what I have as clearly as I do. They don’t see how intentional I am about the life I’m building. This isn’t a game to me. This is my life, and I take it seriously.
So for me, a soft life isn’t about waiting for good fortune. It’s about being so aligned, so ready, and so positioned that when the right doors open, I’m already standing on the other side.
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What’s one misconception about the soft life aesthetic that you wish more people understood?
I think one of the biggest misconceptions about the soft life is that it just happens. It doesn’t.
A soft life is deeply intentional. It’s built through the choices you make every day: what you allow, what you refuse, how you care for yourself, and how seriously you take your own peace. There’s nothing accidental about it.
For women aspiring to have a soft life this year, what honest advice would you give about the work, patience, or mindset required behind the scenes?
If you want a soft life, you have to be ruthless about your well-being. You need to protect your peace, your body, your time, and your energy as if they are sacred — because they truly are. That means learning how to say no without guilt, resting without apology, and choosing yourself even when it disappoints people.
A soft life also requires patience and self-mastery. You won’t become the woman who lives gently overnight. You have to release habits that keep you stuck in survival mode, such as overworking, people-pleasing, neglecting yourself, and replace them with devotion to your highest good.
And most importantly, believe you deserve a beautiful life. Not someday. Now. When you move with that belief, your choices change, your standards rise, and your reality eventually has no choice but to follow.
If there’s one thing you want women to carry with them as they build their own version of a soft life, what would it be?
One last thing I’ll say is this: no two soft lives look the same. Softness is personal. You get to decide what peace, pleasure, and fulfilment mean for you, and no one else needs to validate it.
Don’t live as an extra in your own life. You are the main character of your experience. Prioritise what makes you feel nourished, seen, and at ease. That’s where your real soft life begins.
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