Stimulating the clitoris is essential for women to have a good orgasm, and with oral stimulation, it’s even more intense.
Oral sex on a vulva isn’t really oral sex if it doesn’t have maximum attention on the clitoris. The organ’s sole mission and responsibility is to make women and people with vulvas around the world feel pleasure, and thus lead to wonderful orgasms. One of the most common questions surrounding the act is how to suck the clitoris the right way.
Firstly, it’s important to know that in sex, right and wrong don’t exist. Each person is unique, and what might be good for one person might not be as good for another. It varies from person to person – what matters is consent, good communication, and mutual interest in providing and experiencing pleasure.
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First: Locate the clitoris — it changes everything
That said, there is, indeed, a basic framework that should be followed to ensure the experience is enjoyable – and not a session of faking orgasms (never do that) or frustrated, unsatisfied bodies.
The first step isn’t about how you suck, but knowing exactly where you should suck. In other words, knowing where the clitoris head is located. Yes, because even though the external part is equivalent to a button (of happiness), the entire organ measures around 3.5 to 4.3 inches.
When you’re face-to-face with the vulva, you should find the clitoris well above the urethral opening and just below where the vulva begins. It’s a protrusion that sits inside the labia minora, at the top. Found it? Then, get to work.
Tips on how to suck the clitoris
Beyond knowing where the clitoris is, the real secret is understanding how to balance the types of oral stimulation: suction, pressure, texture, and intensity. Sex position also plays a big role in the experience. A spoiler: everyone involved in sex needs to be very comfortable; if that’s the case, it doesn’t matter much if the person receiving oral will be lying down, on all fours, on their side, or if you go for a 69
Build the mood with foreplay
Starting by sucking the clitoris, just like that, when it’s dry, might not be the best way to start. Firstly, explore other areas of the body: kiss, massage, caress, give little bites on the neck, and whisper sweet nothings in their ear. Foreplay will help you set the mood and get the body ready for what’s to come.
Explore the vulva slowly
Between the legs, start with caresses. Run your tongue slowly all over the vulva, already directing licks toward the clitoris. Stay like this for a while, without rushing – and don’t forget to pay attention to signs that the person receiving the stimulation is enjoying it.
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Gentle suction and tongue positioning
Now, let’s get to the step-by-step. You know, when you cool down with an ice-cold soda through a straw on a hot day? Well, that’s the movement the clitoris is (anxiously) hoping you’ll make. Purse your lips, but don’t close your mouth too much; make room for the clitoris to enter. Curl your tongue in a U shape and start making suction movements.
Note: go veeery slowly! If you use too much pressure or force, you’ll cause the opposite of what’s desired. The area is very sensitive and needs to be stimulated with care and patience. Suck very slowly and, if you want, alternate the suction with licks. Explore all the possibilities without fear.
Consider licking and sucking for maximum sensation
When you feel comfortable, why not combine sucking with licking? While you suck, you can use your tongue to make circular movements, from top to bottom, or from side to side. Smart tip: Use just the tip to direct the lick right on the clitoris head and make it even more sensitive.
Remember not to keep your tongue completely stiff and to be generous with saliva. The ideal is to keep the vulva nice and wet. Also, be very careful with your teeth! Some people like being bitten, but if the person asks for it, go slowly: just give a little light touch. Save the bites (in the right measure, of course) for other, less sensitive areas.
Build intensity by increasing pressure gradually
Orgasm comes when the stimulation is consistent and when the intensity and pressure gradually increase. As excitement increases, that’s your green light to increase the level of stimulation as well.
Enhance the experience with fingers or sex toys
Can you combine it with penetration? Of course! In addition to caressing the inner thigh and belly, for example, it’s also worth (if the person receiving oral is comfortable) inserting fingers or sex toys. Vibrators can also be welcome, but now and then, what we want to see is the tongue and mouth taking centre stage.
Read also: Oral sex: A lifestyle editor’s guide to taking control in the bedroom
This article was originally published by Marie Claire Editorial Staff on the Marie Claire Brazil website
Translated and syndicated for Marie Claire Nigeria by Esther Akinbola
