Who knew a little buzz could be the key to unlocking next-level pleasure?
Let’s talk about orgasms. More specifically, about how I finally stopped waiting for someone else to unlock my pleasure and took matters into my own hands — literally. For years, I tiptoed around the idea of self-pleasure, thanks to society’s collective pearl-clutching over female sexuality. However, when I finally embraced sex toys, I discovered something revolutionary: power. Not just the kind that leaves your legs shaking (although that too), but the kind that comes from knowing your body, your desires, and exactly how you like to be pleasured.
And before anyone clutches their Bibles, let’s clear something up—I love God. My faith is important to me. But I also have a body, and that body has needs. There’s this assumption that being a young Nigerian woman means you’re either deeply religious or sexually liberated, but what if I’m both?
What if I can enjoy worship on Sunday and still believe that my pleasure matters every other day of the week?
The stigma around female pleasure and why it needs to go
Sex is everywhere, in music, films and social media, but with women openly discussing their pleasure, the silence or judgment you meet is so deafening. There is a deeply ingrained discomfort with the idea of women not just having sex but enjoying it on their own terms, without shame, without guilt or needing permission. Society has long treated female pleasure as an afterthought, something secondary to male satisfaction. Society expects women to be desired, not to desire, to perform for a partner rather than prioritizing their own needs. And with self-pleasure, the judgement is even harsher. If a woman talks about masturbation, suddenly there is scandal, shame and whispers saying: Isn’t that what men are for?
Sex toys and self-pleasure are not about replacing partners but about understanding yourself first. To know one’s body means not relying on someone else to guess what feels good. It removes the awkwardness, the fumbling, and the maybe if I just fake it, it will be over soon moments. When women explore their pleasure, they empower themselves to approach intimacy confidently, communicate clearly, and fully enjoy sex rather than just being a participant.
The power of self-discovery
The first time I bought a sex toy, I felt like I was doing something wrong. I was excited but felt a twinge of guilt — like I was breaking some invisible rule. My mind kept buzzing with doubt about whether I could find pleasure on my terms, which I had spent years believing only a partner could provide.
Spoiler alert, yes I could. And once I did, everything changed.
Using sex toys was not just about physical pleasure — although that was a revelation — it was about understanding myself. Understanding what felt pleasurable and unpleasurable and what types of touch I enjoyed. Rather than waiting for a partner to figure things out through trial and error, I understood my desires clearly, allowing me to communicate them without hesitation or awkwardness.
This was the real game changer. Sex no longer felt like something I was waiting to be good, it became something I had control over. That confidence extended beyond the bedroom. Knowing your own body does not just improve sex but self-esteem, self-awareness and the ability to advocate for your needs in all areas of life.
Five game-changing sex toys
If you are curious about exploring your pleasure, these five sex toys will completely change how you experience intimacy. They are not just about pleasure, but about self-discovery and confidence in your own body.
1. The bullet vibrator – Small but mighty
Do not let its size fool you. The bullet vibrator is tiny but delivers targeted and intense stimulation. It is perfect for beginners who want to explore without feeling overwhelmed. Whether you are using it alone or as an addition to partnered play, this toy is a game changer for precise clitoral pleasure.
2. The wand massager — Deep, rumbly and unmatched
Originally designed for muscle relief, the wand massager has become one of the most popular sex toys for a reason. Its deep and powerful vibrations provide intense external stimulation, helping with overall relaxation. If you love intense sensations, this is the toy for you.
3. The suction toy – The closest thing to oral pleasure
Imagine the sensation of soft, rhythmic suction that mimics oral stimulation. That is exactly what a suction toy delivers. Instead of traditional vibrations, it uses air pulses to create a unique and intense pleasure experience. Many people describe it as the fastest way to an orgasm, making it a must-have in any collection.
4. The dual-stimulation vibrator – Twice the pleasure
Also known as the rabbit vibrator, this toy stimulates both the clitoris and the G-spot at the same time. If you have ever struggled to reach a blended orgasm, this is your solution. It is perfect for those who want multiple sensations at once without switching between toys.
5. The G-spot toy – Unlocking deeper pleasure
Designed specifically for internal stimulation, the G-spot toy has a curved shape that applies just the right pressure to this sensitive area. If you have never explored G-spot orgasms, this is the toy that can help you discover a whole new level of pleasure.
From solo play to better sex with a partner
One of the biggest misconceptions about sex toys is that they replace partners. Spoiler alert: They do not; instead, they help you understand your body so that when you are with someone, you can confidently communicate what you like. Using sex toys has made me feel more in control, more self-assured and much more comfortable guiding my partners. Knowing what pleases you is not just about solo play, it makes intimacy in general so much better.
Owning your pleasure
Embracing sex toys has been one of the most empowering things I have ever done for myself. It is not about waiting for the right person to figure out what I enjoy; it is about taking charge of my pleasure. And if there is one thing I have learnt, it is that confidence in the bedroom starts with confidence in yourself.
So, if you have been hesitating, consider this your sign. Buy the sex toy. Ditch the shame. And, most importantly, own your pleasure, because no one else can do it for you.
