What you need to know about the five love languages

love language

Love is a universal language. However, in its vastness, love can be spoken in different ways, ergo the five love languages. The concept of love languages was created by Gary Chapman in 1992.

In his book, The Five Love Languages, he explored the different ways for couples to say “I Love You” through various expressions other than the actual words. However, even if we all relate to the multiple expressions of love, there is always one primary love language. When spoken often, we are guaranteed to feel loved and appreciated in relationships.

What are the love languages?

The conventional love languages are pretty straightforward. They are:

Words of Affirmation

For some, words are their primary language for expressing affection. Complements, words of encouragement, and vocal gratitude are the foundations of a relationship.

Acts of Service

For others, actions speak louder than words. Whether big or small, performing acts of service becomes a tangible manifestation of love and devotion.

Receiving Gifts

The art of gift-giving is the language spoken by those who treasure the thought and effort behind a present. Each gift symbolises love and consideration.

Quality Time

Some individuals value undivided attention. Spending quality time together, whether in conversation or shared activities, is their preferred expression of love.

Physical Touch

Physical connection serves as the primary love language for some. Hugs, kisses, and other forms of touch are powerful expressions of affection and intimacy.

What love languages usually look like

Love languages are easy to understand when you really get to know what they mean. Here’s a simple breakdown of what love languages look like in real life

Words of affirmation

  • Handwritten notes

  • Compliments like “You look amazing,” “I love you,” “I trust you,” and “I love spending time with you.”

  • Sharing a cute TikTok/Instagram reel

Acts of service

  • Picking them up to go to work

  • Buying sanitary products ahead of time

  • Helping them do their laundry

  • Getting them food

  • Helping them tie their shoes

Receiving gifts

  • Buying them their favourite jewellery

  • Buying their favourite snack

  • Buying them food

  • DIY crafts

Quality time

  • Taking a nap

  • Going to the market together

  • Reading together

  • Going to church together

Physical touch

  • Hand holding

  • Resting on their shoulder

  • Hugs

But there are unconventional love languages, too

With these love languages in mind, there are a few variants of love languages that exist for everyone. Everyone has that one thing that makes them feel special and loved when it’s done for them.

Angel (24) says, “Mentioning my name in places of power and opportunity. Sending me opportunities really makes me feel loved.”

Precious (24) says, “When they like the exact same things I like, it makes me feel loved.”

Diving into X, more people are open about what they consider “love languages.”

Here are a few:

Love languages are dynamic

Inspired by This via Pinterest

In a Forbes article, Dr. Avigail Lev, a psychotherapist and author, gave a few exciting facts about love languages.

1. Love languages apply to all relationships, not just romantic ones

2. Love languages can change as a result of time, trauma, and even age

3. Love languages can help you understand your partner’s needs and wants

4. You can determine your love language or your partner’s love language either by taking Dr. Gary Chapman’s quiz or practising each love language to see which one has the most impact.

5. Love languages mix well with gratitude. So, always show gratitude when a person tries to speak your love language.

Love languages are the perfect way to understand and improve connections across all types of relationships. While all love languages are very distinctive, they are all connected somehow. The best way to learn and understand love languages is to start with you! So, tell us, what is your love language?


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