This year, we’re unlearning the unhealthy habits that hold us back from becoming our best selves

Image via Unsplash

We’re letting go of unhealthy habits that no longer serve our peace, growth, or purpose.

 

By the end of 2025, I found myself exhausted in a way no amount of sleep could fix. And yet, I still showed up. I still worked. I still smiled. However, underneath it all, I felt worn out from constantly pushing, adjusting, and staying silent. When I slowed down enough to reflect, I realised something important. Many of the behaviours I had normalised were unhealthy habits.

And the more conversations I had with my friends, the clearer it became that this was a shared experience. As women, we have learned to carry a lot of burdens and baggage. Expectations we never agreed to, emotional labour that often goes unseen, and the pressure to be strong even when we are exhausted. And the weight of keeping families, relationships, and dreams intact all at once. We carry ambitions alongside guilt, resilience alongside fear, and hope alongside disappointment. 

Over time, this weight becomes so familiar that we forget to question it, but this year, we will question it and put some of it down.

 

Black woman with a somber expression sitting on rocks beside the sea via Freepik
Black woman with a sombre expression sitting on rocks beside the sea via Freepik

 

Unlearning hustle culture that glorifies burnout

As women, we pride ourselves on being hardworking and resilient. However, hustle culture pushes us to believe that rest equals laziness and exhaustion equals success. We fill our days until there is no space left to breathe, and over time, this pressure drains all our energy, eventually clouding our judgment.

This cycle has become one of the unhealthy habits we are finally tackling. This year, we choose balance over burnout. We rest without guilt and work with intention. We understand that sustainability matters more than constant struggle.

 

Read more: The dark side of hustle culture for Nigerian women

 

Unlearning people-pleasing at the expense of our well-being

Many women learned early on to keep the peace and avoid conflict. We started saying yes when we wanted to say no. We overextend ourselves and overexplain our boundaries instead of enforcing them.

People-pleasing slowly turns into an unhealthy habit, leaving us emotionally drained. This year, we are choosing honesty over approval. We respect ourselves enough to say no without guilt.

 

Unlearning shrinking ourselves in our careers

In professional spaces, we sometimes dim our lights to avoid tension. We hesitate to negotiate, contribute, or advocate for ourselves. In hindsight, this hesitation limits our growth and keeps us from claiming opportunities we have earned. This year, we show up fully and speak with confidence. We back ourselves and own our competence.

 

Read also: The many faces of discrimination against women in the workplace

 

Unlearning constant comparison

Social media makes comparison effortless. Just by scrolling, we measure our lives against carefully curated moments. However,  this comparison affects the way we view our own progress.

It convinces us that we are behind, even when we are growing. That mindset keeps comparison high on the list of unhealthy habits we are letting go of.

Moving forward, we stay present in our own journeys and celebrate progress that may not look impressive online.

 

Black woman dressed in white clothes posing ona beach via Freepik
Black woman dressed in white clothes posing ona beach via Freepik

 

Unlearning body dysmorphia and unrealistic beauty standards

A majority of women grew up absorbing messages that told us to fix, shrink, or change our bodies, and we internalised those messages. We scrutinise our reflections and chase unrealistic ideals.

This cycle creates unhealthy habits of self-criticism and shame, but this year, we choose kindness over punishment. We treat our bodies as partners, not enemies, and we redefine beauty for ourselves.

 

Read also: “I don’t even see myself”: 3 Nigerian women open up about the struggles of living with body dysmorphia

 

Unlearning silence in relationships

Very often, we believe silence will preserve peace, so we swallow our feelings and ignore discomfort. We stay quiet when something hurts and justify crossed boundaries, and that silence becomes an unhealthy habit that damages emotional safety.

This year, we speak up with clarity and courage.

We understand that healthy relationships should make room for our voices.

 

Black woman on shades posing via Freepik
Black woman on shades posing via Freepik

 

Unlearning the belief that a man will save us

We grew up hearing that marriage would complete our lives, so we paused dreams and delayed decisions in search of the perfect partner.

This belief created an unhealthy habit of waiting rather than building.  It taught us to outsource fulfilment, to look outside ourselves instead of within. Moving forward, we focus on building a meaningful relationship with ourselves and creating a life on our own terms.  

 

Unlearning the romanticisation of struggle

Many women grew up believing that nothing good comes easy or that we should not celebrate good things that come without stress.  Hence, we glorified hardship. We stayed in difficult situations longer than necessary.

We rejected ease out of fear.

This year, we choose ease where possible.

We stop believing that suffering proves our worth.

 

Unlearning these habits requires intention, honesty, and time. It calls on us to question what we’ve accepted for too long without reflection. In recognising that we deserve better, we grant ourselves the right to rest, to speak, and to fully occupy our space. This year, we are not losing ourselves; we are finally choosing alignment.

 

Read more: Healthy habits we’re picking up this year

 

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