Too many meaningless social interactions make people physically and mentally exhausted. Psychologist Xin Hua recommends that you ask yourself whether you have “unnecessary interpersonal relationships” to help you get rid of social fatigue.
“Have you ever felt drained by social interactions?”
When I ask working professionals, the answer is almost always a resounding “yes,” often accompanied by feelings of helplessness or frustration over recent events.
“Have you ever tried making changes to alleviate this exhaustion?”
“Do you know where to start?”
When I follow up with these questions, most people either shake their heads or express a sense of powerlessness.
Many individuals already feel social fatigue in their daily lives and desire to declutter their relationships, yet they’re unsure where to begin. Unknowingly, they find themselves trapped in social anxiety, as if caught in an inescapable dilemma.
Some social connections have become burdensome, but letting go seems difficult—or even impossible.
The burden of unnecessary online socialising
Many people often claim they’re too busy—too busy to live, too busy to read, too busy to cook a meal for themselves—yet they struggle to pinpoint exactly what’s consuming their time.
When everyone around us is caught in this cycle, this ineffective busyness becomes the norm. Breaking free from this cycle requires a crucial first step: streamlining online social interactions.
In the digital age, we inevitably join numerous groups: friends, colleagues, work projects, grocery deals, community updates—the list goes on. However, 80% of the information in these groups is worthless, silently draining our time.
We might check group messages, gossip with colleagues, or engage in arguments without realising how much time and energy we’re wasting. This silent consumption of time shortens our available productive hours, making life busier and more exhausting.
Beyond group chats, friend updates and social media posts also require decluttering. Start by deleting unimportant group chats, removing promotional contacts, or unfollowing people you don’t even remember adding.
Next, manage your time effectively by gradually reducing your online socialising. For example, limit yourself to just 30 minutes of messaging instead of allowing unlimited access. Gradually decrease the frequency and duration of your online interactions.
Also, use silent mode wisely—turn off notifications for groups you can’t leave, mute friends you can’t unfollow, and hide posts from those whose updates you find irrelevant. Take control of your social media experience to reduce unnecessary energy drains.
The pitfalls of frequent recreational gatherings
Occasional get-togethers with friends can relieve stress and offer relaxation. However, frequent recreational gatherings can easily lead to a sense of emptiness without you even realising it. While life may seem lively, a part of your inner self may feel hollow.
Workplace recreational gatherings, in particular, should be approached with caution. After entering the workforce, colleagues often become our most frequent companions, aside from family. While it’s fine to occasionally attend gatherings to strengthen relationships, frequent meetings filled with complaints about work can be mentally draining and counterproductive.
Therefore, it’s best to participate in recreational gatherings in moderation. Leave time and space for yourself, develop your hobbies, and build your inner world to make life more fulfilling and enjoyable.
Navigating unequal social engagements
Unequal social engagements often leave people feeling drained and offer little value. This inequality can manifest in various forms:
1. Resource inequality
Many people are willing to attend social engagements for work or personal development. However, in reality, many such gatherings turn out to be unproductive. You attend numerous events, collect a stack of business cards, and add many new contacts, but in the end, nothing materialises. If you don’t have resources to exchange, or if your resources aren’t of equal value, these engagements rarely achieve the intended purpose.
2. Disparities in cognition and values
Why are some family gatherings so unappealing? Why do friendships sometimes fade after one friend achieves career success? Why do industry experts seem so aloof?
These social issues stem from disparities in cognition and values. Some relatives enjoy comparing children’s jobs, incomes, homes, and cars or pressuring you to get married and have children because these are their ingrained value standards.
Some friends who have achieved success in their careers may not forget the past, but they may have seen a broader world, gained more knowledge, and led busier lives, leaving little to discuss with old friends beyond reminiscing.
Some well-known industry figures may seem “aloof,” but maybe your understanding isn’t on the same level. Explaining one sentence could require ten more explanations, so it’s easier to maintain a polite social distance.
Therefore, social engagements with significant disparities in cognition and values should be appropriately simplified. If you must attend, prepare a strategy to leave early.
3. Economic disparities
Economic conditions shouldn’t be the basis for friendship, but if there’s a significant disparity, these gatherings should be attended selectively. Long-term friends who have established a comfortable interaction pattern can continue to adapt to each other. However, with new friends, insufficient understanding may lead to discomfort during gatherings.
Many people complain about someone showing off their wealth or being overly strict after attending a reunion or family gathering. In the end, the less wealthy feel the wealthier are flaunting their status, while the wealthier feel the less wealthy are insecure, thinking that everything they do is showing off.
Without debating who’s right or wrong, the essence of these conflicts lies in differences in economic conditions, leading to different lifestyles and values.
Everyone faces various social situations. The examples mentioned above serve as a reference for deciding which social activities to attend.
Focus on social engagements that contribute to self-improvement. Social interactions that broaden your horizons, hone your skills, and enrich your experiences are more worthy of your time and effort.
This article was syndicated from Marie Claire Taiwan
Translated and adapted by Praise Vandeh, Marie Claire Nigeria Content Writer
