We have to distinguish between healthy debate and angry bickering, which leads nowhere. Constant arguments destroy even the most solidly built relationships. We need to go back to the basics of communication if we want to calm tempers.
Disagreement often leads to heated arguments in a relationship. People are very often just throwing things at each other, and it is rare that they can go back to the solution-finding phase. The biggest problem is, such quarrels can even destroy relationships that are otherwise on solid foundations.
“Communication is a problem for many couples. It’s common to what starts as a conversation to turn into a heated argument,” says Pat LaDoucher, psychologist and relationship counsellor.
Have we ever noticed that we often stop listening to what the other person is saying and start to formulate a retort? According to the expert, this is the worst thing you can do.
Communication starts with listening
Even in a workplace dispute, two words work to calm down heated exchanges
When an argument turns into a shouting match, it’s worth saying the one two-word phrase that can put a stop to the fight and get the discussion back on track and back on track. “It’s not enough to just nod and stare blankly ahead,” he said. We need to think about what they are saying. How can we grow from this? What question can we ask that will take us further?”
With this in mind, a two-word sentence can immediately calm the mood: I hear you. “When my husband said those two words to me in the heat of an argument, I just looked at him in surprise,” says the psychologist. – I immediately calmed down. I understood that our argument didn’t end there, but my husband was not my enemy. We are in this together and we don’t have to go against each other, but we are working for a common goal in our relationship.”
These two words take us back to the basics of communication, which is listening to each other. According to the psychologist, listening is learning, knowing. A good reminder: before we speak, we need to listen, regardless of who we are arguing with – our partner, our parents or a friend.
Source: Marie Claire Greece
This article was syndicated from Marie Claire Hungary