We need to distinguish between healthy debate and angry bickering, which leads nowhere. Ongoing conflicts also undermine relationships built on the most solid foundations. If we want to calm things down, we need to go back to the basics of communication.
Misunderstanding often leads to heated arguments in a romantic relationship. People frequently just throw things at each other, and it is very rare for them to step back into the phase of seeking solutions. The biggest problem with this is that such quarrels even damage relationships that otherwise stand on rock-solid foundations.
“Communication is a common issue for many couples. It’s common to what starts as a conversation to turn into a heated argument, a dispute,” said Pat LaDoucher, a psychologist and relationship counsellor.
Have you ever noticed that in such moments, we rarely pay attention to what the other person is saying, but we are already formulating our comeback in our minds? According to the expert, this is the worst thing we can do.
Communication starts with listening.
The two words can also work in calming down heated arguments in a workplace dispute.
When a debate turns into endless quarrelling, it’s worth uttering the two-word sentence that can put a stop to the fight and redirect the discourse to a path that can lead to results. “It’s not enough to just nod and stare ahead with an empty gaze,” the expert said. We need to listen actively to the other person. We need to reflect on what they are saying. How can we grow from this? What question can we ask that can move things forward?”
Starting from this, a two-word sentence can immediately soothe tempers: “I hear you.” “When my husband said these two words to me in the heat of an argument, I just looked at him in surprise,” said the psychologist. “I immediately became calmer. I understood that our argument doesn’t end here, but my husband is not my enemy. We are in this together, and we are not working against each other but for a common goal in our relationship.”
These two words bring communication back to its basics, which is listening to the other person. According to the psychologist, listening is synonymous with learning and understanding. It serves as a pleasant reminder: before we speak, we must listen, regardless of who we are arguing with—our partner, parents, or a friend.
This article was syndicated from Marie Claire Hungary
Translated and adapted by Praise Vandeh, Marie Claire Nigeria Content Writer
