Is the viral trad wife movement a step backwards, or a redefined path to empowerment? As Nara Smith and Hannah Neeleman of Ballerina Farm reignite the conversation online, it’s time to dissect what this means for Nigerian women balancing tradition and modernity.
In the fast-paced, ever-evolving world of social media, a curious trend has reemerged, harking back to an era many believed was dying. This is the story of the “trad wife”, a movement that celebrates traditional gender roles and domestic bliss, resonating deeply with many while stirring controversy among others.
The trad wife subculture—or “trad wife aesthetic” as it is often fondly called—advocates for a return to homemaking and family values. A couple of influencers from across the global have popularised this movement on social media, showcasing a nostalgic yet modern, if romanticised, take on domestic life.
It has attracted millions of followers on platforms like Instagram and TikTok, creating a global conversation. The hashtag #TradWife has amassed 110.5 million videos as of time of publishing, turning personal lifestyle choices into a worldwide conversation and highlighting the power of social media to amplify and spread ideas across cultural boundaries.
Nigerian “accidental” influencer, Mummy Zee, who went viral and became a million times richer earlier in 2024, based on a strongly trad wife-coded tweet, adds a local twist, making the movement relevant in our local cultural context.
Traditional gender roles in Nigeria are deeply ingrained, with men typically seen as breadwinners and women as homemakers. The trad wife subculture and traditional Nigerian values share a focus on defined gender roles. Meanwhile, the modern feminist movement in Nigeria challenges these norms, advocating for gender equality and women’s empowerment.
The trad wife subculture, therefore, presents a dichotomy: empowerment by choice for some, but a risk of reinforcing outdated stereotypes for others. The question then becomes how to balance this conversation for the greater good of feminism, especially in a conservative country like Nigeria.
The trad wife movement across cultures
Imagine a serene morning at the Ballerina Farm, where 34-year-old Hannah Neeleman—a Juilliard-trained former Miss New York City, who has a PhD in Sociology from Concordia University—now juggles life as a housewife and mother of eight. She fills her days with homemade bread, fresh farm eggs, and the chaos of raising a large family while milking cows and goats.
Her idyllic life, shared with over nine million Instagram followers—of which seven million was amassed right as the Roe v Wade case was overturned in 2022—has turned her into an emblem of the trad wife subculture.
She exemplifies the very ethos of it, although she says she does not identify with the label. Her life on a Utah farm with a thriving social media presence reflects both the fulfilment and challenges of this lifestyle. Despite her reluctance to endorse the label, her content continues to influence many who admire her dedication to family and traditional values.
Then there’s 22-year-old Nara Smith, born in South Africa and grew up in Germany, whose TikTok videos of made-from-scratch meals—everything from cough drops to bubblegum and cola (soda)—and minimalist living have garnered a massive following.
Smith—married young and dedicated to her role as a homemaking mother of two—presents a life that blends old-fashioned charm with modern-day sensibilities. Her videos, filled with wholesome content, offer inspiration, captivating an audience eager for a simpler, more traditional way of life.
@naraazizasmith nothing better than a crisp coke! #easyrecipe #homecooking #homemade #fypツ #cocacola #softdrink
♬ O mio babbino caro (Gianni Schicchi:Puccini:Adami) – AllMusicGallery
The story doesn’t end there. On Nigerian X, formerly known as Twitter, the conversation takes on a unique flavour with Mummy Zee, who shares her journey of balancing traditional values with the demands of contemporary Nigerian life. Her daily anecdotes resonate with Nigerians of all genders, who see in her a reflection of their struggles and triumphs.
On January 6, 2024, Deborah Olaki Adebisi (Mummy Zee), tweeted that she wakes up at 4:50 am to cook for her husband, and she received backlash from self-proclaimed feminists. This had the roundabout effect of gaining her viral support from more traditional X users, snowballing into a massive follower count, and financial and gift donations.
Together, these women—and many more online—paint a diverse and multifaceted picture of the trad wife movement. Their stories, shared through the lens of social media, invite us to explore the intricate dance between tradition and modernity, offering a fresh perspective on what it means to be a woman in today’s world.
An actual timeline of the subculture
At its core, the trad wife subculture promotes the idea that women should focus on domestic responsibilities, such as cooking, cleaning, and caring for children, while men should be the breadwinners. This movement recalls the 1950s ideals of a nuclear family, where women had to find fulfilment in nurturing their homes and families.
Trad wives celebrate femininity and motherhood, viewing these roles as a source of strength and empowerment rather than oppression. Influencers like Nara Smith and Hannah Neeleman highlight these principles through their content, showcasing lives dedicated to family and home.
The trad wife subculture has its roots firmly placed in Western society, particularly in the United States, where it emerged as a counter-response to the first modern feminist movement. In the 1950s, an era often idealised for its clear-cut domestic stability, the husband as the breadwinner and the wife as the homemaker, was the social norm.
In the late 20th and early 21st centuries, the movement found new life through online communities and social media platforms. Initially gaining traction on niche forums like Reddit’s “Red Pill” community, trad wives began to share their lifestyle and ideologies, emphasising submission to husbands, homemaking and child-rearing as fulfilling and honourable roles for women.
As social media evolved, the movement spread to newer platforms, where influencers fuse vintage aesthetics with modern digital storytelling.
Remember the banana bread-emic? The resurgence of the movement during the COVID-19 pandemic happened because of the global shift towards home-based activities and the revaluation of family and domestic life. The increased time spent at home led many to rediscover the joys and challenges of homemaking, further popularising the trad wife ethos.
How it translates to Nigeria
While the trad wife subculture is a modern resurgence influenced by nostalgia for 1950s Western household ideals, Nigerian values stem from foreign religious practices. In Nigeria, traditional gender roles and family structures are deeply ingrained, and Christian and Muslim—the major religions—teachings reinforce the patriarchal setup.
Variations exist across ethnic and religious groups, with Muslim communities often adhering more strictly to traditional roles compared to their Christian counterparts. However, there has been a gradual shift towards egalitarian roles that have seen more women pursue higher education, professional careers, achieve personal ambitions and contribute to household incomes.
The trad wife subculture, with its emphasis on domesticity, may resonate with Nigerian women who find value in traditional roles. Yet, it also clashes with the aspirations of many who seek greater gender equality and freedom to choose a path.
What real-life Nigerian women think about being a “trad wife”
Conversations with diverse Nigerian women on the topic highlight varied perspectives. Some find fulfilment in traditional roles, while others are concerned about the potential regression in gender equality, underscoring the importance of respecting individual choices and promoting a balanced approach to gender roles.
Adebimpe, a 35-year-old mother of three from Lagos, left her banking job in 2016 to focus on raising her children and managing her home. “I always felt a deep connection to my home and family,” she shares. “Leaving my job was a difficult decision, but it allowed me to be more present for my children and support my husband. The trad wife movement validates my choice and shows that being a homemaker is just as valuable as having a career.”
Chiamaka, a 28-year-old fashion designer from Enugu, embraces traditional gender roles but balances them with her entrepreneurial spirit. “I love taking care of my home and cooking for my family,” she explains. “The movement resonates with me because it emphasises the importance of family and home. However, I also believe in the power of women to pursue their passion outside the home. For me, it’s about finding harmony between both worlds.”
Tola, a 30-year-old lawyer from Abuja, expresses concerns about the movement. “While I respect every woman’s choice, I worry,” she says. “Nigerian women are still fighting to attend and stay in school, still fighting for equal treatment at their workplaces. The new emphasis on domesticity can overshadow the progress we’ve made.”
Ngozi, a 40-year-old university lecturer from Port Harcourt, is critical of the movement. “The idea of returning to traditional gender roles feels regressive to me,” she argues. “Women should be encouraged to pursue their dreams, whether that’s being a homemaker, a CEO, or both. Also, the romanticised portrayal of domestic life doesn’t reflect the economic realities many Nigerian women face. We need to support each other in breaking free from limiting stereotypes.”
What Ngozi shares about economic realities rings true. After all, Hannah Neeleman, whose husband, Daniel, comes from a wealthy family worth over $400 million, lives on a sprawling 328-acre farm. Before Nara Smith became a famous content creator, she was an IMG Models-signed runway model, and she is married to the equally successful fashion model, Lucky Blue Smith.
Funmi, a 32-year-old marketing executive from Ibadan, finds a middle ground. “I understand the appeal of the movement, especially for women who find joy in cooking and nurturing,” she says. “But it’s crucial to emphasise that it’s about choice. Women should be able to choose their path without judgement or societal pressure. For me, it’s about having the freedom to be a homemaker, a professional, or both, and being respected for that choice.”
Empowerment through choice
The trad wife aesthetic offers a comforting narrative to some amidst modern chaos. Choosing to focus on homemaking and child-rearing can be seen as reclaiming a sense of relief in a society that often pressures women to excel both professionally and domestically.
This voluntary embrace of traditional roles could provide a fulfilling path for women who find joy and identity in domestic life. The key here is the element of choice—women should have the autonomy to decide their roles without societal imposition. On the other hand, the movement risks reinforcing outdated stereotypes that confine women to domestic spheres and perpetuate gender inequality.
In a country like Nigeria, where significant progress has been made in promoting women’s access education and professional careers, a widespread embrace of the trad wife ethos could undermine this. It could perpetuate the belief that a woman’s primary value lies in her ability to manage a household, thus limiting opportunities for women to pursue diverse aspirations and contribute to society beyond the home.
It is crucial to balance this with the modern feminist movement, which advocate for equal opportunities and challenge patriarchal norms. The implications of the trad wife subculture on Nigerian women hinge on the balance between choice and societal pressure.
While embracing traditional roles can be empowering for some, it should not come at the cost of regressing into rigid stereotypes that limit women’s potential. Empowerment lies in the freedom to choose, supported by a society that values and respects women’s decisions, whether they align with traditional roles or break new ground.
This balance will ensure that the trad wife subculture, if embraced, enhances rather than hinders the progress toward a more inclusive and equitable society for Nigerian women.
Impact of the subculture on the new generation
Young women may find role models in influencers who embrace the trad wife lifestyle, but these influencers present a well-curated image of domestic life, portraying it as fulfilling and valuable. This, too, is a double-edged sword.
By showcasing homemaking as a valid and respected choice, the movement can empower young women to pursue paths that align with their values, even if these paths deviate from the mainstream emphasis on career and financial independence. Prioritising family and home can be an empowering and deliberate decision, not a forced one.
On the downside, social media’s glamourised portrayal of traditional roles can perpetuate the idea that domestic work is more relaxing than pursuing a career, selling young women a half-truth. The polished, idealised images shared by trad wife influencers can create unrealistic expectations and pressure young women to conform to these standards. This pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy and limit their perceptions of what they can achieve outside traditional roles.
Social media algorithms prioritise content based on engagement and create echo chambers, where young users are repeatedly exposed to similar content. This could reinforce specific ideologies and limits exposure to diverse viewpoints, further solidifying traditional gender roles in the minds of young viewers.
The voices of feminist influencers and advocates for gender equality are, perhaps for the first time in the last decade, drowned out by the trad wife narrative, potentially endangering young women’s access to alternative role models and perspectives that promote empowerment through diverse life choices.
Empowerment can look like tradition or modernity
The feedback from women highlights the ongoing struggle to balance tradition with progress, and the critical role of social media in shaping these perceptions. How can Nigerian women navigate the intersection of tradition and modernity? What does empowerment truly mean in today’s society?
Understanding the trad wife subculture within the Nigerian context is crucial due to complex cultural, social, and economic dynamics. In Nigeria, where traditional values still hold significant influence, it’s essential to balance respect for cultural heritage with the pursuit of gender equality.
By understanding these dynamics, we can foster a society where women are free to choose their paths, whether traditional or modern and are supported in their decisions. This balance is key to ensuring that movements like the trad wife subculture contribute positively to the ongoing dialogue about gender roles and equality in Nigeria.
