Is the viral #tradwife movement a step backwards, or a redefined path to empowerment? As Nara Smith and Hannah Neeleman of Ballerina Farm reignite the conversation online, it’s time to dissect what this means for Nigerian women balancing tradition and modernity.
In the fast-paced, ever-evolving world of social media, a curious trend has reemerged, harking back to an era many believed was long gone. This is the story of the Trad Wife, a movement that celebrates traditional gender roles and domestic bliss, resonating deeply with many while stirring controversy among others.
The tradwife subculture – or “tradwife aesthetic” as it is often fondly called – advocates for a return to homemaking and family values. Global influencers have popularised this movement on social media, showcasing a nostalgic yet modern, if romanticised, take on domestic life.
The movement has gone viral, attracting millions of followers on platforms like Instagram and TikTok, and creating a global conversation. The hashtag #TradWife has amassed 110.5 million videos as of time of publishing, turning personal lifestyle choices into a worldwide conversation and highlighting the power of social media to amplify and spread ideas across cultural boundaries.
Nigerian “accidental” influencer, Mummy Zee, who went viral and became a million times richer earlier in 2024, based on a strongly tradwife-coded tweet, adds a local twist, making the movement relevant in different cultural contexts.
Traditional gender roles in Nigeria are deeply ingrained, with men typically seen as breadwinners and women as homemakers. However, there is a gradual shift due to increased education, urbanisation, and globalisation. The tradwife subculture and traditional Nigerian values share a focus on defined gender roles. Still, the modern feminist movement in Nigeria challenges these norms, advocating for gender equality and women’s empowerment.
The tradwife subculture, therefore, presents a dichotomy – empowerment by choice for some, but a risk of reinforcing outdated stereotypes for others. Social media amplifies the movement, influencing younger generations by presenting positive role models and reinforcing stereotypes. It creates unrealistic expectations while providing a platform for diverse viewpoints and counter-movements.
The question then becomes how to balance this conversation for the greater good of feminism.
The tradwife movement across cultures
Imagine a serene morning at Ballerina Farm, where Hannah Neeleman, a Juilliard-trained former Miss New York City Ballet, now juggles life as a mother of eight. She fills her days with homemade bread, fresh farm eggs, and the joyous chaos of raising a large family while milking cows and goats. Her idyllic life, shared with over nine million Instagram followers—of which seven million was amassed right as the Roe v Wade case was overturned in 2022—has turned her into an emblem of the tradwife subculture.
She exemplifies the very ethos of it but does not fully identify with the label. Her life on a Utah farm with a thriving social media presence reflects both the fulfilment and challenges of this lifestyle. But despite her reluctance to endorse the label, her content—rich with simplicity and traditional values—continues to influence many who admire her dedication to family and traditional values.
Then there’s Nara Smith, born in South Africa and grew up in Germany, whose TikTok videos of made-from-scratch meals—everything from cough drops to bubblegum and cola (soda)—and vintage-inspired living have garnered a massive following. Smith, married young and dedicated to her role as a homemaking mother of two, presents a life that blends old-fashioned charm with modern-day sensibilities. Her videos, filled with wholesome content, offer inspiration, captivating an audience eager for a simpler, more structured way of life.
@naraazizasmith nothing better than a crisp coke! #easyrecipe #homecooking #homemade #fypツ #cocacola #softdrink
♬ O mio babbino caro (Gianni Schicchi:Puccini:Adami) – AllMusicGallery
The story doesn’t end there. On Nigerian Twitter, the conversation takes on a unique flavour with Mummy Zee, who shares her journey of balancing traditional values with the demands of contemporary Nigerian life. Her daily anecdotes resonate with Nigerians of all genders, who see in her a reflection of their struggles and triumphs.
On January 6, 2024, Deborah Olaki Adebisi, AKA Mummy Zee, tweeted that she wakes up at 4:50 am to cook for her husband, and she received backlash from self-proclaimed feminists. This had the roundabout effect of gaining her viral support from more traditional X users, snowballing into a massive follower count, and financial and gift donations.
Together, these women – and many more online – paint a diverse and multifaceted picture of the Trad Wives movement. Their stories, shared through the lens of social media, invite us to explore the intricate dance between tradition and modernity, offering a fresh perspective on what it means to be a woman in today’s world.
An actual timeline of the subculture
At its core, the tradwife subculture promotes the idea that women should primarily focus on domestic responsibilities, such as cooking, cleaning and caring for children, while men should be the main breadwinners. This movement recalls the 1950s ideals of a nuclear family, where women find fulfilment in nurturing their homes and families.
Trad Wives often celebrate femininity and motherhood, viewing these roles as a source of strength and empowerment rather than oppression. Influencers like Nara Smith and Hannah Neeleman highlight these principles through their social media content, showcasing lives dedicated to family and home.
However, it is interesting to note that the tradwife subculture has its roots in Western society, particularly in the United States, where it emerged as a counter-response to modern feminist movements. In the 1950s, an era often idealised for its clear-cut domestic stability, the husband as the breadwinner and the wife as the homemaker, was considered the societal norm.
In the late 20th and early 21st centuries, the movement found new life through online communities and social media platforms. Initially gaining traction on niche forums like Reddit’s “Red Pill” community, Trad Wives began to share their lifestyles and ideologies, emphasising submission to husbands, homemaking and child-rearing as fulfilling and honourable roles for women.
As social media evolved, the movement spread to platforms like Instagram and TikTok, where influencers fuse vintage aesthetics with modern digital storytelling. Remember the banana bread-emic? The resurgence of the movement during the COVID-19 pandemic happened because of the global shift towards home-based activities and the revaluation of family and domestic life. The increased time spent at home led many to rediscover the joys and challenges of homemaking, further popularising the Trad Wives ethos.
How it translates to Nigeria
The tradwife subculture and traditional Nigerian values have similarities, but while the movement is a modern resurgence influenced by nostalgia for 1950s Western household ideals, traditional Nigerian values stem from long-standing religious practices.
In Nigeria, traditional gender roles and family structures are deeply ingrained, with men typically serving as primary breadwinners and heads of households, while women handle domestic duties and childcare. Cultural norms and religious teachings reinforce this patriarchal setup.
The extended family system remains prevalent, providing social support, although the influence of urban lifestyles is slowly changing this dynamic. Variations exist across different ethnic and religious groups, with Muslim communities often adhering more strictly to traditional roles compared to their Christian counterparts.
However, there has been a gradual shift towards egalitarian roles that have seen more women pursue professional careers and contribute to household incomes. Women are increasingly seeking higher education and achieving personal ambitions. The tradwife subculture, with its emphasis on domesticity, may resonate with Nigerian women who find value in traditional roles. Yet, it also clashes with the aspirations of many who seek greater gender equality and empowerment.
The movement’s portrayal on social media often romanticises a lifestyle that may not fully account for the diverse realities and challenges faced by Nigerian women.
Empowerment through choice
The tradwife aesthetic, with its romanticised portrayal of domesticity, offers a comforting narrative to some amidst modern chaos. For some Nigerian women, it may offer empowerment. Choosing to focus on homemaking and child-rearing can be seen as reclaiming a sense of control and purpose in a society that often pressures women to excel professionally and domestically.
This voluntary embrace of traditional roles could provide a fulfilling path for women who find joy and identity in domestic life. The key here is the element of choice—women should have the autonomy to decide their roles without societal imposition.
On the other hand, the movement risks reinforcing outdated stereotypes that confine women to domestic spheres and perpetuate gender inequality. In a country like Nigeria, where significant progress has been made in promoting women’s education and professional careers, a widespread embrace of the Trad Wives ethos could undermine these advancements. It could perpetuate the belief that a woman’s primary value lies in her ability to manage a household, thus limiting opportunities for women to pursue diverse aspirations and contribute to society beyond the home.
In the Nigerian cultural context, it is crucial to balance this with the modern feminist movement’s gains, which advocate for equal opportunities and challenge patriarchal norms. The Nigerian feminist movement strives for a society where women are not restricted by gender roles but can freely choose their paths, whether in the home or professional fields.
The implications of the tradwife subculture on Nigerian women hinge on the balance between choice and societal pressure. While embracing traditional roles can be empowering for some, it should not come at the cost of regressing into rigid stereotypes that limit women’s potential. Empowerment lies in the freedom to choose, supported by a society that values and respects women’s decisions, whether they align with traditional roles or break new ground.
Ultimately, fostering a culture that respects individual choices and promotes gender equality is essential. This balance will ensure that the tradwife subculture, if embraced, enhances rather than hinders the progress toward a more inclusive and equitable society for Nigerian women.
Impact on the new generation, helped by social media
Young women may find role models in influencers who embrace the tradwife lifestyle, but these influencers present a well-curated image of domestic life, portraying it as fulfilling and valuable. This, too, is a double-edged sword.
For some young women, this can offer a sense of community and belonging, especially if they resonate with the values of homemaking and family-centred living. By showcasing homemaking as a valid and respected choice, the movement can empower young women to pursue paths that align with their values, even if these paths deviate from the mainstream emphasis on career and financial independence. Prioritising family and home can be an empowering and deliberate decision, not a forced one.
On the downside, social media’s glamourised portrayal of traditional roles can perpetuate the idea that domestic work is more glamorous than pursuing a career, selling young women a half-truth. The polished, idealised images shared by tradwife influencers can create unrealistic expectations and pressure young women to conform to these standards. This pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy and limit their perceptions of what they can achieve outside traditional roles.
Social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok and YouTube amplify the reach of the subculture, making it accessible to a global audience. Hashtags such as #TradWife and viral videos bring the movement into the mainstream, influencing perceptions across different cultures and societies.
Social media algorithms prioritise content based on engagement and create echo chambers, where young users are repeatedly exposed to similar content. This reinforces specific ideologies and limits exposure to diverse viewpoints, further solidifying traditional gender roles in the minds of young viewers.
The voices of feminist influencers and advocates for gender equality are, perhaps for the first time in the last decade, drowned out by the tradwife narrative, potentially endangering young women’s access to alternative role models and perspectives that promote empowerment through diverse life choices.
While the movement can offer a sense of community and empowerment for those who resonate with traditional roles, it also risks reinforcing outdated stereotypes and creating pressure to conform to idealised images of domestic life. The challenge lies in ensuring that young women have access to diverse perspectives and feel empowered to make choices that align with their aspirations, whether traditional or modern.
What real-life Nigerian women think about it
Conversations with diverse Nigerian women on the topic highlight varied perspectives. Some find fulfilment in traditional roles, while others are concerned about the potential regression in gender equality, underscoring the importance of respecting individual choices and promoting a balanced approach to gender roles.
Adebimpe, a 35-year-old mother of three from Lagos, left her banking job in 2016 to focus on raising her children and managing her home. “I always felt a deep connection to my home and family,” she shares. “Leaving my job was a difficult decision, but it allowed me to be more present for my children and support my husband. The tradwife movement validates my choice and shows that being a homemaker is just as valuable as having a career.”
Chiamaka, a 28-year-old fashion designer from Enugu, embraces traditional gender roles but balances them with her entrepreneurial spirit. “I love taking care of my home and cooking for my family,” she explains. “The movement resonates with me because it emphasises the importance of family and home. However, I also believe in the power of women to pursue their passion outside the home. For me, it’s about finding harmony between both worlds.”
Tola, a 30-year-old lawyer from Abuja, expresses concerns about the movement. “While I respect every woman’s choice, I worry,” she says. “Nigerian women are still fighting to attend and stay in school, still fighting for equal treatment at their workplaces. The new emphasis on domesticity can overshadow the progress we’ve made.”
Ngozi, a 40-year-old university lecturer from Port Harcourt, is critical of the movement. “The idea of returning to traditional gender roles feels regressive to me,” she argues. “Women should be encouraged to pursue their dreams, whether that’s being a homemaker, a CEO, or both. Also, the romanticised portrayal of domestic life doesn’t reflect the economic realities many Nigerian women face. We need to support each other in breaking free from limiting stereotypes.”
What Ngozi shares about economic realities rings true. After all, Hannah Neeleman, whose husband, Daniel, comes from a wealthy family worth over $400 million, lives on a sprawling 328-acre farm. Before Nara Smith became a famous content creator, she was an IMG Models-signed runway model, and she is married to an equally successful fashion model.
Funmi, a 32-year-old marketing executive from Ibadan, finds a middle ground. “I understand the appeal of the movement, especially for women who find joy in cooking and nurturing,” she says. “But it’s crucial to emphasise that it’s about choice. Women should be able to choose their path without judgement or societal pressure. For me, it’s about having the freedom to be a homemaker, a professional, or both, and being respected for that choice.”
Empowerment can look like tradition or modernity
The feedback from women highlights the ongoing struggle to balance tradition with progress, and the critical role of social media in shaping these perceptions. How can Nigerian women navigate the intersection of tradition and modernity? What does empowerment truly mean in today’s society?
Understanding the tradwife subculture within the Nigerian context is crucial due to complex cultural, social, and economic dynamics. In Nigeria, where traditional values still hold significant influence, it’s essential to balance respect for cultural heritage with the pursuit of gender equality.
By understanding these dynamics, we can foster a society where women are free to choose their paths, whether traditional or modern and are supported in their decisions. This balance is key to ensuring that movements like the tradwife subculture contribute positively to the ongoing dialogue about gender roles and equality in Nigeria.
A space for Trad Wives in feminism: empowerment or regression?
You get to choose
