You turn 25, and the wife material starter pack suddenly starts calling your name. Is it the society or just you?
I’m 25 years old and I find myself at this cultural crossroads. Although my family isn’t pressuring me into marriage, the hints are impossible to miss. The occasional “You’re not a baby any more” serves as a quiet nudge, a reminder that, in Nigeria, 25 isn’t just another birthday. It’s a checkpoint. A moment when the world stops measuring your success by career and education alone and starts assessing your readiness for marriage.
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“Love Island” fan favourite, Whitney Adebayo, put it bluntly on her podcast: “I’m rebranding from being a baddie! Baddies don’t get the ring.” She was joking… kind of. We all understood exactly what she meant. There’s this unspoken rule that at a certain age, women shift their aesthetic from trendy to timeless, from sexy to sophisticated, and let’s be real from single-girl fun to wifey material.
But where does this pressure come from, and is it necessarily negative?
The quarter-life shift
At 25, something clicks. Maybe it’s because we’ve survived the early chaos of adulthood: first jobs, first real heartbreaks, first apartments where the curtains don’t match. Maybe it’s because society has ingrained in us that by 30, we should have it all together (and 30 suddenly doesn’t seem that far away). I know this because I’m living it. As I turned 25, my love for trendy fast fashion pieces started fading. My wardrobe slowly began evolving into something more curated—investment pieces and classic silhouettes. Outfits I thought felt like me rather than a Pinterest board, but then I had to ask myself: is that really my style, or do I just feel the need to look a certain way because of a certain age?
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Am I genuinely drawn to these changes, or have I subconsciously absorbed the idea that 25 is the time to “grow up” and therefore “dress accordingly?” It’s a fine line between evolving naturally and feeling pressured to fit into a new mould. I’m still figuring out which one it is for me.
The money glow-up
Money is another major factor. Many 25-year-old women have more financial freedom than they did at 21. With a steady income, the allure of fast fashion fades suddenly, and investing in timeless, well-made pieces starts to make sense. Why buy five trendy Shein dresses when you can get one good Nigerian made design that will last for years? Why hoard cheap skincare when you can finally afford that Charlotte Tilbury setting spray?
The influence of social media and the ‘trad wife era’ aesthetic
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Social media absolutely plays a role in this shift. The “clean girl” aesthetic, the “soft life” movement, and the rise of the “trad wife” era all push a specific kind of femininity, one that prioritises subtle luxury, effortless beauty, and a sense of calm control. The message? To be desirable, you need to be put together.
Even TikTok trends reinforce this. There’s a reason “wife material” compilations exist, filled with women in elegant neutrals, sipping matcha, and looking effortlessly composed. Whether intentional or not, there’s a growing belief that looking a certain way aligns with being seen as a long-term partner rather than a fleeting attraction.
The hair renaissance
One thing that signals a woman’s transition into a new era is her hair. Some cut it all off—think Meghan Thee Stallion natural hair era. Others trade in loud colours for deep, rich tones that scream elegance. Some grow out their natural hair, embracing their roots—literally.
For me, cutting my hair into a pixie was more than just a style choice. It felt like shedding old layers of insecurity and uncertainty, as well as the person I used to be. It was a declaration of self-assurance and a bold step into a new chapter where I fully embraced my femininity, power, and sense of self.
So… is the 25-year-old glow-up a good thing?
Here’s the thing: changing your look isn’t the problem. It’s when women feel they have to change to be taken seriously, respected, or considered “wife material.” The pressure to tone down, refine, or “soften” often feels like an invisible rulebook handed down by society.
But here’s the truth: your glow-up should be for you. If you’re genuinely drawn to a sleeker, more refined style because it reflects who you’re becoming, that’s beautiful. But if you feel like letting go of your fun, colourful, bold aesthetic just to be perceived as more “serious” or “worthy,” then maybe it’s worth asking who you’re really doing this for?
Because the best kind of glow-up isn’t about securing a ring; It’s about securing yourself. And at 25, that’s the only kind of transformation that truly matters.
