Tag: sexual health

Understanding Vaginismus

Unlocking Intimacy: Understanding vaginismus with Olawunmi Esan

Vaginismus is a topic that has been touched with a ten-foot pole for many years.…

Anonymous Conversations: My First BlowJob Gave Me LockJaw. Fellatio, also known as head or blowjobs, is an oral sex act that involves giving pleasure by stimulating a person’s penis. This act has spurred conversations and research papers concerning the safety and necessity of the act. However, when it comes to pleasure and sex in general, what brings sexual satisfaction is very subjective. Some folks view giving their partners oral sex as a key part of getting close, while others might not see it the same way. We spoke with Abby about blowjobs and all the fuss around it, and she told us the most fascinating story about her first time, and it was jaw-dropping – to say the least. “My mommy didn't raise a quitter. She didn't raise her daughter to suck dick either, but there I was.” My stomach felt like it was filled with bees, and there wasn't much I could do about it. “Why does sex have to be so complicated?” I asked myself on my way over to his place. Even though my nerves made me want to throw up on the spot, I still felt a tinge of confidence. “All I need to do is remember the tips the woman gave in that YouTube video,” I thought to myself inside the cramped keke. On the way there, I kept repeating the steps to myself. “No teeth, a lot of salivae and… what else, sef?” I couldn't remember the last tip, but I had already gotten to his street, and my mommy hadn't raised a quitter. She didn't raise her daughter to suck dick either, but there I was, standing at his door, making up my mind to give my boyfriend the best blowjob he had ever had. The thought of pleasing him excited me again, and my nerves calmed down. I finally knocked at his door, and there he was, the first man I’d ever give a blow job. He was my boyfriend, but at the same time, it felt like a deeper commitment than it was. “Yes! Perfect! Maybe I can try the deep throat thing,” We went into the room, and after a brief but pointless conversation, we started kissing. At this point, the bees in my stomach turned to hornets, and it took the strength of 50 Amazon women to stop me from throwing up in his mouth. I decided to firm it and just get this blowjob business over with. So, there I was, on my knees, undoing his belt and getting ready to please the man I loved. I repeated the steps in my head to ensure I was on track before I began. “No teeth, a lot of salivae and… what the hell is the last tip?” At this point, it didn't matter, so I started. From the tip to the base, I made up as much saliva as possible, leaving my jaw wide enough to avoid biting him. He began to moan, and I thought, “Yes! Perfect! Maybe I can try the deep throat thing,” I did. It was getting intense, and I decided to come up for air, but my jaw didn't move. “Wait, why does it hurt? Is it supposed to hurt?” I thought. I took his appendage out of my mouth and realised I couldn't close it. “What’s happening?” I began to cry, and he got scared. “Are you okay?” he said. “What’s wrong?” He seemed genuinely confused; I was in too much pain to care about his feelings. I cleaned up and managed to close my mouth halfway. Thank God for the pandemic and face masks. I slapped one on and rushed home. Perfect might be a stretch, but someone out there saved my number as ‘throat goat.’ Obviously, I wouldn't tell my mum what actually happened, and like the African mother she is, she immediately assumed it was malaria (thankfully). I got treated for it, and my jaw returned to normal after a week. You would think this experience would stop me from giving blowjobs but absolutely not. I enjoyed my experience, so I returned for more after I healed. You might be thinking, “Abby, weren't you scared?” Well, yes, I was, but as I said, my mummy didn't raise a quitter, so I kept trying till I got perfect. Perfect might be a stretch, but someone out there saved my number as ‘throat goat.’ Thankfully, I've never had another lockjaw experience since, but I'm extra careful and never do anything I don't want to do. If I feel any bit of discomfort, I always take a break. P.S. Trismus, also known as lockjaw or lusty lockjaw, is very common when performing oral sex. It can happen to anyone, not just people trying out fellatio for the first time. Many other factors, like infections, dental surgery, inflammation, etc., can also cause trismus. The pain can also extend to the neck, not just the jaw. Our Advice Don't sweat the small stuff! Take it slow and enjoy the experience. If it's your first time, worry less about not giving enough pleasure and just try not to bite down. Your comfort is a priority. The ‘gawk gawk 3000’ effect cannot be achieved if you’re struggling to breathe. So, find a comfortable position and go off! If you feel pressured, don't do it. Ensure that you have given an enthusiastic yes rather than an absent no. Don’t do anything you don't want to do. Let your creativity flow. As you get into a consistent rhythm, have fun and get creative with it.

Anonymous Conversations: My first blowJob gave me lockjaw.

Fellatio, also known as head or blowjobs, is an oral sex act that involves giving…