“No one deserves to be physically assaulted. Not a call girl. Not an influencer. Not me as an actor, writer, producer, and woman.” – Nengi Adoki
Whether or not the world has come to terms with it, the reality of being a woman is accepting the fact that your day can go from preparing for a photoshoot, a Nigerian-Canadian Alumni event, and dinner at a great restaurant to being assaulted by four men dragging you by your hands and feet for taking pictures, as was the case of Nengi Adoki, an actress, writer, and producer.
“I was lifted and dragged out of the premises by multiple security staff”
Nengi’s harrowing experience happened on Saturday, September 28th, 2024. At exactly 12:20 am, Nengi and her friend were assaulted by the security staff of Bolivar Bar, Lagos, for “taking photos without permission” after being a regular since 2019.
“I was a few clicks in when I suddenly noticed that I was being lifted and dragged out of the premises by multiple security staff and ended up in a pile of old tires outside their gate. My friend was injured, my belongings went missing, my shirt ripped, and my phone was broken as I fought back the three men and one woman who put their hands on me.”
After requests to speak with management went unanswered for an hour, Nengi was finally let back into the restaurant, but that was not the end. To defend their actions, the managers spoke about how ‘call girls’ and ‘influencers’ come in to take pictures without paying for anything at the bar, after which she was dragged out a second time by the same security men. However, it turned out to be unsuccessful, as Nengi was able to break free from their grasp.
While she understands that she may have been wrongly profiled, she insists that no woman deserves the treatment she got. With righteous anger, she says, “No one deserves to be physically assaulted. Not a call girl. Not an influencer. Not me as an actor, writer, producer, and woman. I had hoped for some kind of resolution [by the bar] that has yet to happen to this day.”
The alarming culture of harassment of Nigerian women in public spaces
Navigating life in Nigeria as a woman means experiencing assault in different forms. You can expect to hear comments like “ashawo” when you’ve done well for yourself or driving a nice car, or get targeted at entrances to clubs or bars when you show up without a man accompanying you.
Or should we talk about how young, single women rarely get approved by agents and landlords for rent? Or when your car is hit in an accident and there are demands to speak to your husband or father first because somehow you’re deemed incapable of either resolving the issue or buying a car for yourself. We have all been victims at all these levels and more, but nothing prepares us for physical altercations.
The numbers are even more alarming
Nigeria continues to struggle with alarming rates of harassment and discrimination against women, making it one of the most unsafe countries for women globally. In 2018, the Thomson Reuters Foundation ranked Nigeria 9th in this category.
According to UN Women, 45 percent of women reported that they or a woman they know has experienced a form of Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG), with six in 10 women reporting that sexual harassment in public spaces has worsened since the COVID-19 pandemic began.
While the assault of women in private spaces has been the norm, public spaces offer no respite. Whether it is public gyms where women are often subjected to ogling and unsolicited advice from men or restaurants and nightclubs where some establishments refuse to admit women without a male companion, the trend of harassment and assault of women.
Nengi also confirmed the discriminatory trend by recounting how many women came up to share their own assault stories, “One even stated that she was banned from the establishment even after wrongdoing on their part,” she shares.
Stories from other women
Nengi isn’t the first woman to come out publicly to share her harassment and assault experience.
In 2018, MTV Base presenter Kudiratu Olayinka, popularly known as K’Ola, took to her Instagram to call out two men for harassing her at a restaurant.
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“I don’t know these “animals” at all, but they thought it was their “right” to grab my ass. It was not, but it is my right to speak up. As it is every woman’s right.”
In 2019, over 100 women were harassed by agents of the Federal Capital Territory Administration (FCTA) Joint Task Team at Caramelo Night Club, Abuja. Speaking on the issue, Ms. Iheoma Obibi, who represented various organisations to condemn the raid, revealed that the agents chose to contain the club’s “environmental nuisance” by targeting and attacking young women in the club, particularly dancers and strippers.
She said, “The agents appeared to be specifically targeting women, while no male guest was arrested or harassed. In fact, several female guests in and around the nightclub were also targeted and harassed. Women were brutally dragged out by male officers who beat them, and some women were stripped naked.”
The sad reality of women as enablers of assault
Ironically, some women perpetuate the cycle of harassment, often due to internalised societal norms or a desire to maintain social harmony. They may downplay or dismiss harassment, advising victims to “ignore” or “get over it” to avoid attracting unwanted attention. Others perpetuate harmful stereotypes, labeling victims “promiscuous” or “attention-seeking.”
In Nengi’s case, she had hoped being in a female-owned bar would guarantee some level of safety but it did not. “I didn’t think I would need the intervention given that the bar owner, a woman in a position of power, would sit back and watch another woman get assaulted in her establishment. I have always believed women should look out for each other. To be exposed to that level of assault at a woman-led organisation is something I’m still surprised about.”
Even more alarming, some women fail to report or support friends and family members experiencing harassment, choosing instead to prioritise family honour or social standing. This complicity not only silences survivors but also emboldens perpetrators, perpetuating a culture of impunity.
“For me, justice is awareness”
In her mission to seek justice for herself, Nengi attempted to file an incident report at a police station on the day of the incident but was told to return the following morning. Upon her return, Nengi was informed that the manager who instructed her second removal from the bar was allowed to write an incident report on the same night.
For Nengi, her act of speaking up is not just about filing lawsuits but also about spreading public awareness of the situation for other women. She passionately explained her desire for women to be aware of their rights through her experience, saying,
“Justice for me is awareness. It also means getting my broken phone replaced, my missing items replaced, my physical wounds healed, and my missing cash reimbursed. It is very important to me to speak out against this so that women, especially those living in Nigeria, know that they don’t have to accept treatment like this at all. Nothing justifies it. And hopefully, by shining light on this, the cases of assault on women at these establishments will stop for good.”
While there has been no official statement from Bolivar Bar, Nengi has disclosed intentions to file a lawsuit against the restaurant. Bolivar Lagos did not answer calls or messages from our team. This is a developing story.
