According to the Washington Post, dating app users are already using AI to streamline messaging routines in their quest for a soulmate, though they shouldn’t complain about unsatisfactory results.
It’s been just under 30 years since the launch of Match.com, the first online dating site created by Gary Kremen as a free, ad-supported service. With technological advancements and changing social norms around dating, the future of love in Silicon Valley’s hands seemed promising. However, despite dating sites growing into sleek and fast apps, the competitive multiplication of offerings and a series of setbacks and scandals have left loneliness a persistent generational epidemic. Users searching for happily ever after pa often feel a sense of fatigue and confusion.
Misunderstandings in modern dating
A recent survey on Tinder revealed that people misinterpret each other’s intentions on dating apps. While 53% of men and 68% of women said they were looking for a romantic relationship, 65% of women believe men are only interested in casual flings. Among heterosexual men, only 29% stated they weren’t seeking a long-term relationship.
The report concludes, “both sexes seem to be on the same wavelength regarding relationship goals and interests—they just don’t know it. Instead, people make hasty assumptions about what the other wants, building narratives around these assumptions.”
Controversies and campaigns
In early May, some Los Angeles TikTok users shared anti-celibacy billboards from the Bumble app, mocking women who have vowed to give up sex and dating. One billboard read: “You know well that celibacy is not the answer.” The campaign followed an ad showing a woman becoming a nun out of dating frustration, only to be tempted by an attractive man. Negative responses led Bumble to apologise, acknowledging in a press release that reasons for celibacy include reproductive rights restrictions, trauma recovery, or asexuality.
The sexual recession
Studies show that people are having less sex across all age groups and genders. The Sexual Recession, a term often viewed negatively, highlights that even young people are consciously giving up sex and dating, setting higher standards for future partners. In 2021, the General Social Survey found that over a quarter of Americans over 18 had not had sex in the past year—a 30-year record. Pew Research data from 2020 revealed that 61% of single men were actively seeking dates, compared to just 38% of women.
The role of apps in modern dating
Founded in 2013, Hinge has positioned itself alongside Bumble as a “relationship app,” promoting itself as the platform designed to be deleted. Although less successful in rural areas of the U.S., Hinge’s growth in Europe has been rapid, partly due to a survey asking users about their dating experiences to improve recommendations.
However, apps like Hinge and Tinder are often criticised for manipulating dopamine, reducing romance to a video game, and encouraging compulsive use. An ongoing lawsuit filed in California against Hinge and Tinder on Valentine’s Day highlights the frustration among users who struggle to find meaningful connections. Match Group called the lawsuit “ridiculous,” but it underscores the widespread frustration with online dating.
Exclusive and niche dating apps
Raya, known as the dating app for the rich and famous, remains exclusive and invitation-only, attracting influencers, celebrities, and high-profile individuals who value privacy. Despite its elite status, privacy isn’t always guaranteed—model Nivine Jay famously shared a private video from Ben Affleck on TikTok, thinking his profile was fake.
Rachel Katz, a digital media sociologist at the University of Salford, notes that one major issue with dating apps is “impression management”—the effort to present oneself appealingly. This, along with conflicting goals among users, complicates online dating. Many men seek vague approval from the othersex, while many women don’t truly want to meet anyone, preferring to be told they’re attractive from a distance.
The rise of alternative dating apps
Feeld, launched in 2014, has seen exponential growth in cities like London, New York, Berlin, and Sydney. Initially a fetish app, Feeld now provides an inclusive space for individuals and couples exploring open relationships, polyamory, and other alternative lifestyles. Transparency and clarity of intent are fundamental to successful dating apps, allowing users to create authentic and satisfying connections.
AI in dating apps
Companies are increasingly turning to artificial intelligence for quick solutions. Tinder has tested an AI feature to identify the best photos, while Bumble’s friendship app introduced AI-generated icebreakers based on users’ profiles. According to the Washington Post, users are already using AI to streamline messaging routines in their quest for a soulmate, though they shouldn’t complain about unsatisfactory results.
The evolution of modern dating from Match.com to modern apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge highlights the potential and challenges of finding love online. Despite technological advancements, users still face significant hurdles in achieving meaningful connections. As the industry evolves, the importance of transparency, clear intentions, and innovative solutions like AI will continue to shape the future of online dating.
This article was syndicated from Marie Claire Italy
Translated and adapted by Praise Vandeh, Marie Claire Nigeria Content Writer
