There are different ways to gift your lover this holiday season; could a threesome ever be one of them?
It’s a common practice to dress up for a lover, often slipping into soft, sexy lingerie to set the mood for an intimate evening. For both Valentine’s Day and the Christmas season, red pieces are a popular choice. Some couples take it a step further, planning out the entire night with special sheets, flickering candles, favourite drinks — and even the possibility of an extra partner in bed.
For this edition of #GistMe, we speak to Anita, a young woman who wanted to explore her relationship with her partner by adding a second body to their bed. While threesomes have often been considered unconventional, Anita reminds us that they can be fun, easy to have and might just be the right thing to spice up your relationship.
Does every man want a threesome?
Anita and her partner, Ben, had always been open-minded about their intimacy. They loved planning romantic evenings together. But as their relationship grew stronger, so did their curiosity. One night, between laughter and clinking wine glasses, they started talking about fantasies they’d never voiced before — the idea of inviting another person into the bedroom. A threesome was something Anita had once dismissed as a porn fantasy, but now, it stirred something in her. Ben discussed boundaries, expectations, and how this might bring fresh energy into their connection. Anita agreed and was looking forward to the experience.
For the holidays, Anita wanted to do something different, something that would bring a spark of adventure to her relationship. She decided to plan a special evening for Christmas Eve, one that involved inviting someone new into their shared experience. Ben was open to the idea and suggested Gbemiga, a friend who had always admired Anita and once described her as one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen. They agreed to meet at a cosy hotel, a neutral space where they could all feel comfortable.
Fantasy vs reality
When the night finally came, the nervous excitement they had anticipated never became overwhelming. Anita approached the evening with care and intention. She set the scene thoughtfully: soft lighting, her favourite candle flickering gently, and subtle touches to make the space feel intimate. She slipped into her sexiest lingerie and poured herself a full glass of wine to calm her nerves, letting the warmth settle as she prepared for what was to come. Every detail, from the scents in the room to the music in the background, was chosen to create an atmosphere that was both playful and inviting, a space where curiosity and connection could take the lead.
Gbemiga was the trusted extra body, attentive to the boundaries Ben and Anita had set. There was a playful energy about. The three of them took their time. Anita describes being touched by four hands as exhilarating and heady. Afterwards, Anita felt exhausted but satisfied; the experience wasn’t just about sex, but about trust and vulnerability. What she discovered was just how vital communication and mutual understanding can be.
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Intimacy: More than just the act with your partner
For Anita, intimacy went beyond the physical. She and Ben stayed in tune with each other throughout the night — a gentle whisper here, a reassuring glance there. Ben ensured she remained comfortable, valued and seen. That level of communication strengthened the emotional bond they already cherished. Sexual exploration, including threesomes, can offer new ways for couples to learn about desires, boundaries, and how to care for each other on a deeper level. It always requires honesty, consent, and respect from all involved.
They weren’t doing it because “every man wants a threesome.” In reality, each couple’s comfort and desires differ widely, and what works for one couple may not work for another. For Anita and Ben, the experience wasn’t about fulfilling a stereotype. It was about shared adventure and reaffirming their connection through open dialogue and mutual trust. Healthy intimacy goes beyond the physical — it’s about emotional resonance, trust, and knowing that your partner truly hears you.
Exploring together, respectfully
Anita’s story reminds us that sexual exploration — whether it’s planning a themed Valentine’s night or including another partner in the bedroom — is deeply personal. A threesome isn’t inherently “for every man” or “for every couple,” but for some like Anita and Ben, it became an experience of connection, communication, and mutual pleasure. What matters most, in any intimate choice, is that both partners enter into it willingly, with clear boundaries, and an emphasis on emotional safety and respect. Exploration can be exciting, but it should always be grounded in trust, consent, and ongoing dialogue.
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