In this moving edit of My Beauty Confession, our confessor opens up about the emotional disconnect between how she sees her body and how it truly is. Her personal beauty journey reveals that real beauty often begins where performance ends.
As a beauty editor, I hear stories about transformative skincare routines, products, and confidence hacks, but the personal beauty journey that move me most are the ones where beauty is found in stillness. I’ve come to believe that beauty isn’t always loud. It’s in how we carry ourselves when no one is looking, in what we whisper at night, and in the comfort of knowing we are enough.
As beauty standards shift globally, we’re entering a more intimate, introspective era where self-worth and softness are taking centre stage. This column has become a mirror for self-perception, especially for Black women who often carry beauty expectations shaped by culture, race, and resistance.
In this edit of My Beauty Confession, our confessor unpacks how her personal beauty journey has moved from performance to presence. Her story is one of growing into herself without chasing applause or approval. It’s a reminder that beauty doesn’t have to be perfect to be worthy. She speaks to the quiet strength of evolving identity, a lesson many of us are still learning. Her story resonates deeply with my belief that beauty should feel like freedom, not a performance.
From navigating body image issues to confronting long-held insecurities, she offers a tender, truthful reflection on the evolving meaning of beauty. It’s a reflection of the emotional and psychological shifts many women experience as we unlearn society’s expectations and learn to see ourselves through a softer lens. A reminder that even the parts we hide can be beautiful, especially when we start to see them through gentler eyes.
However, I hope this confession meets you where you are, in the middle of becoming, just like it did for me.
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Her personal beauty journey — Learning to live in the in-between
For years, our confessor’s personal beauty journey was with quiet doubt underneath her confidence. Even in spaces she built for herself, there was a lingering feeling that she didn’t quite belong. “There’s a part of me that’s always felt like I’m a little out of place. I try to act like I belong, but there’s this quiet voice inside that wonders if I’m truly seen,” she admits.
Now, she’s choosing to evolve without apology. “Maybe I don’t have to fit. Maybe I can exist in the in-between without needing to explain it to anyone.” It’s not about being lost, she explains. It’s about embracing change, fluidity, and self-acceptance at every stage.
Still, part of that journey has meant confronting her own reflection with more compassion. “There were days I’d look in the mirror and feel disappointed, wishing for a body that fit more comfortably in clothes and conformed more easily to society’s idea of beauty,” she says. These days, she’s trying to let go of that rigidity. “I’m not entirely at peace with it yet, but I’m getting there,” she adds.
The one area that remains tender is her smile. A gap and a broken tooth have made laughter a complicated thing. “I can’t even remember the last time I laughed freely with my teeth showing.” Past comments from people who never failed to remind her of it echoed. But her friend, Lara, offered a turning point. “She gently told me I was the one making it a big deal. If I didn’t point it out, she wouldn’t have noticed it,” she recalls. It didn’t fix everything, but it softened something. Now, even though she plans to fix it when she can afford to, she’s making peace with her smile, one laugh at a time.
The first time she felt beautiful, and why that moment stuck with her
There was no fanfare or applause; it was just her and a mirror. After years of attaching beauty to external approval, she experienced something quietly life-changing. “I looked at myself and saw something I hadn’t noticed before,” she recalls, “the way my eyes looked when I was deep in thought, the soft curve of my smile when I wasn’t trying to impress anyone.” A rare moment of softness and vulnerability that wasn’t designed for anyone else’s gaze. She didn’t need someone to tell her she was beautiful; she simply allowed herself to see it.
Therefore, that small yet significant shift created space for something deeper — grace. Her personal beauty journey no longer required filters or validation. “That moment stayed with me,” she says. “It was the first time I had embraced my flaws as part of my whole self.”
Now, she carries that understanding with her, allowing it to guide the way she navigates the world. Beauty is no longer something she longs for; it’s something she embodies, especially when she isn’t trying to. That quiet self-recognition is revolutionary.
Read also: My beauty confession: I don’t have wide hips… but I still hope they grow someday
The moment beauty started feeling like presence, not performance
For much of her life, beauty felt like something external, “a mask you wore, a performance,” she says. The glow of flawless skin, the precision of defined brows, the curated image that aligned with what the world deemed attractive. She didn’t question it. She simply learnt to play the part, thinking beauty was about being seen and admired.
Over time, that understanding shifted. Her personal beauty journey became quieter, less about performance and more about presence. “It’s in the way you carry yourself when no one’s watching, in the moments when you’re just existing without any need for approval,” she explains. “Beauty is not a performance or an act, it’s a presence, a stillness that comes from being comfortable with who you are, even in your mess”.
She has learned that true beauty comes from within, not from validation or visibility—and she wishes more people understood this truth. “It’s in the way you love. The way you feel. The way you allow yourself to be vulnerable,” she says. Real beauty isn’t something we strive to become; it’s something we already are.
This confession is a reminder that beauty doesn’t need to be earned. It’s something we carry in our silence, even when we feel like we don’t belong.
Ready to share your beauty confessions? Fill out the form here. Whether it’s a memory, a struggle, a ritual, or a revelation, this column is a no-judgment zone. It’s where vulnerability is welcomed, stories are sacred, and no experience is too small or too bold to be told. From childhood insecurities to adult discoveries, we want to hear it all: the good, the hard, the healing.
