Marie Claire has launched a special “She Talks” podcast series in collaboration with Wildlace Productions. Inspired by Temidayo Abudu Makanjuola’s film “A Night in 2005“, this series amplifies the voices of Nigerian women driving change in the fight against gender-based violence.
Episode two features Tobi Ayodele, a feminist writer and advocate whose work addresses the deep-rooted issues of gender-based violence (GBV) in Nigeria. She has spent over six years challenging societal norms through storytelling that calls for systemic change.
She sheds light on the ingrained patterns that perpetuate gender-based violence, particularly in Nigeria.
“Gender roles and norms are deeply embedded in Nigerian society,” Tobi says. “These cultural practices not only normalise but even justify violence. Stories of women being killed over trivial reasons—like not making dinner early enough or giving birth to girls instead of boys—are heartbreaking reminders of the damage these norms cause.”
She goes on to highlight a critical issue that enables gender-based violence: the societal acceptance of male violence. This unchallenged narrative is central to perpetuating cycles of abuse. Tobi’s call to action is simple but powerful: we must dismantle the normalised acceptance of male violence and demand responsibility from men for their actions.
In her words, “We’ve created a culture where men are expected to be violent. Society often overlooks their behaviour and fails to hold them accountable, which means boys are raised to believe that being violent is a normal part of being a man.”
Feminism in the face of backlash: Navigating resistance to change
Another crucial part of the conversation revolves around the resistance to feminism, especially in a society where identifying as a feminist can be considered controversial or dangerous.
Tobi candidly discusses how difficult it can be to challenge these norms, pointing to the emerging threat of technology-facilitated GBV, where activists and feminists face online bullying, stalking, and even physical harm.
In this digital age, technology is a double-edged sword—it serves as a tool for advocacy but can also be weaponised against those who speak out for women’s rights.
“Technology-facilitated GBV is a growing issue,” she says. “It’s a new challenge we must learn to navigate as we continue advocating for women’s rights online.”
While the rise of digital violence is a pressing concern, with many activists and feminists facing harassment through social media platforms, Tobi emphasises that we must also embrace the power of the digital space to educate and spread awareness.
“I appreciate the efforts of individuals and organisations who work tirelessly to create safe spaces online—spaces where we can talk about consent, rape, and the realities of gender-based violence,” she says. “We need to keep shaping the conversation, even when it’s difficult, and learn to recognise and combat cyberbullying in all its forms.”
Tobi Ayodele’s insights are a stark reminder of the urgency of addressing gender-based violence in Nigeria. Her words provide both a challenge and a call to action for all of us.
Listen to the full episode below for an inspiring and thought-provoking conversation on GBV, feminism, social justice and how we can all contribute to a world free of GBV.
