“The Roses” (2025) is a thought-provoking exploration of marriage, power dynamics, and the complexities of love. Spoilers ahead!
I’ve been thinking about “The Roses,” which I watched upon my friend’s insistence. The storyline felt honest and real; it expertly explored the pressures placed on women in marriage. It also portrays how society perceives and treats individuals when the gender roles are reversed, even in a loving relationship.
Released in August 2025, “The Roses” is a modern reimagining of the 1989 classic “The War of the Roses.” Directed by Jay Roach and written by Tony McNamara, it stars Olivia Colman as Ivy Rose and Benedict Cumberbatch as Theo Rose, a couple eager to build their future together. Ivy sacrifices her ambitions for family life, while Theo enjoys success in his career. However, when their roles are reversed, the marriage begins to unravel.
A woman’s sacrifices on the altar of marriage and motherhood
The film lays bare a familiar pattern of the heterosexual marriage: Ivy, the wife, sets aside her culinary dreams for ten years to raise their children. She gives up her time and identity, while Theo, the husband, pursues his passions without pause. It mirrors the patriarchal system in which society expects mothers to be the “default parent.”
Women often carry the heavy load of parenting, mostly alone — organising, sacrificing, smoothing over — all done without recognition. Society normalises this sacrifice as love and duty, while overlooking how much it costs women. Many wives and mothers pay the price through lost dreams, limited economic power, and a lack of personal fulfilment.
When Theo’s career collapses after an unfortunate incident that also propels Ivy’s career, he becomes the stay-at-home parent. However, unlike Ivy, he grows bitter playing the role of the stay-at-home parent, and his resentment toward Ivy deepens.
This conflict between Ivy and Theo is not just personal; it reflects a systemic imbalance. Society often praises men who take on domestic roles as “progressive” or “hands-on fathers,” receiving recognition for doing what is seen as going above and beyond. Women, on the other hand, are expected to shoulder these same responsibilities without question, usually without acknowledgement or appreciation. This double standard not only reinforces unequal expectations but also minimises the everyday labour that stay-at-home mothers perform.
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The double standards and emotional abuse
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The movie also exposes how society frames success differently depending on gender. When Ivy becomes the breadwinner, she battles with mum guilt. She feels she’s missing out on her children’s milestones and worries she’s failing them. Rather than support her, Theo makes matters worse. He spares no chance at making her feel inadequate for not being the ideal mother who is actively present.
In contrast, men receive praise as providers, and society excuses or even celebrates their absence. The patriarchal double standard punishes women for working, labelling it neglect, while it honours men for the same effort as sacrifice.
Importantly, “The Roses” doesn’t fall into simple gender politics. When Theo treats Ivy with cruelty, she humiliates Theo publicly. They both end up hurting each other deeply. The film acknowledges that systemic issues can erode even loving relationships, turning frustration into bitterness.
This balance makes the story more powerful; it isn’t just a tale about good and bad partners. It depicts how gender roles distort intimacy and partnership, often without us realising it.
“The Roses” holds up a mirror to patriarchal realities
“The Roses” uses dark humour to hold up a mirror to our society. It highlights the significant sacrifices women make and the unequal rewards men receive for the same actions. It isn’t a bitter story; it remains honest. At its core, the film asks us to question the gender roles within heterosexual marriages. It highlights the patriarchal systems that influence our expectations of the roles wives, husbands, mothers, and fathers play.
In a world where the roles of women and mothers are being redefined, the film is timely and necessary. It reminds us that being a woman and a mother is no longer about quiet sacrifice. It’s about taking up space, making radical choices, and the freedom to seek recognition for our talents.
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