More angles, more pleasure: the secrets to making 69 your favorite moment.
This is a position you either love or hate. Some say it’s for teenagers who want to do it all at once, while others love the opportunity to give and receive oral sex at the same time. Even Ariana Grande has praised the position, dedicating an entire song (and a remix) to it alongside Doja Cat and Megan Thee Stallion.
But before you dive into this double-pleasure game, a few things might cross your mind. Is our height compatible? Is it more comfortable on top or bottom? Should we lie horizontally or sideways? How can I focus on what I’m feeling and doing?
As complicated as it may seem, 69 can be a great way to explore each other’s bodies in a more instinctive way — sometimes you don’t want to wait to suck or be sucked, so why not do it all together? You can enjoy 69 during foreplay or in a variety of positions during sex. It’s a very democratic position that works well for heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual sex.
How to do a 69?
The 69 is a classic of simultaneous pleasure, where two people stimulate each other’s genitals with their mouths. Each person faces one side, imitating the shape of the two numbers: “69.” The best part is that despite being considered a single position, you can vary angles, rhythms, and even choose new body areas to explore.
Think about comfort
Choose a place where fitting together is easiest and most comfortable for both of you. The bed is more practical, but the sofa or an armchair can provide different sensations.
Adapt with accessories
You can use pillows or cushions to give more height to the head or compensate for height differences by placing something to elevate the hips of the person on the bottom. Opting for different angles can help you fit. You can include sex toys to intensify pleasure in other erogenous zones, such as the breasts and anus, while engaging orally.
Start slowly
Before diving mouth-first into the position, take some time to explore each other’s bodies during foreplay. This relaxes, increases arousal, and makes everything more pleasurable.
Communicate with your body
Since your mouths will be occupied, you can give signals with touches and body movements to show that you’re enjoying it or to guide the preferred rhythm — always be careful that the person on the bottom doesn’t feel suffocated or unable to move. If you feel any significant discomfort or want to change positions, don’t hesitate: stop, clearly touch the person, and make the adjustment together.
Don’t worry so much about concentration
It can be difficult for our brains to focus on giving and receiving pleasure at the same time— and that’s perfectly okay. If it’s too difficult for you, allow yourself to stop for a few minutes just to feel your partner’s stimulation and let the moans flow. The most important thing is not to worry too much about stimulating all the time, but rather to have fun with the experience.
Choose which 69 variation you prefer
Once you feel comfortable and aroused, it’s time to choose which 69 variation works best for you. This might be a topic you’ve already discussed together or an opportunity to try something new. Each 69 variation can change the level of comfort, control of rhythm, and even how you experience pleasure. It will be fun to test until you discover which one is the best match.
Read also: On a hunt to bridge the orgasm gap, we asked 10 women what they really want in bed
Types of 69 to try
69 on top or bottom
This is the traditional way described in the Kama Sutra: one body over the other with mouths working simultaneously. The interesting thing is that you can invert the roles, alternating who is on top and who is on the bottom.
For cis women or people with vulvas who are in relationships with cis men or people with penises, being on top can be more comfortable. This is because it allows for more control over the depth and rhythm of the blowjob — and, as a bonus, it can be extremely pleasurable to practically sit on your partner’s face.
In the case of sex between two people with vulvas, any angle will be comfortable, as there’s no risk of choking during deep oral penetration. Regardless of the combination, the key to this angle working is not placing all your weight on the other person’s body and using your hands for support to regulate the rhythm and maintain comfort.
69 sideways
In this variation, as the name suggests, your bodies lie on their sides, and you’ll fit together like inverted spoons. This gives you more support to guide your movements, and you can hold and massage your partner’s buttocks while doing so. It’s a more comfortable option to enjoy for several minutes because it reduces body weight and allows both of you to easily control the rhythm.
Furthermore, it is usually the ideal choice to compensate for height differences, since lying on your side makes your body more level.
69 standing
For those who are more physically fit and like to dare in positions that require balance and coordination. Here, you can hold or be held, while the other person rests their back against the wall for added support.
The height needs to be a little more similar for it to work; whoever is holding has to have enough strength and self-control to stay steady — because there’s a high chance of getting wobbly legs.
69 breasts
This 69 variation is for sapphics: here the mouth moves from the vulva or penis to the breasts. You can do it either on top of each other or sideways — just be in a position that allows you to suck, lick, or stimulate each other’s breasts simultaneously.
It’s a more sensual option that can start with the breasts and progress to a traditional 69. Another advantage is that your hands are free to stimulate other erogenous zones to make the moment even more exciting.
This article was originally published by Isadora Marques in collaboration with Marie Claire — São Paulo (SP) on the Marie Claire Brazil website.
Translated and syndicated for Marie Claire Nigeria by Tobi Afolabi.
