Chocolates and roses are cute, but do you know what’s really romantic? Closing the orgasm gap.
It’s 2025, and we are still dealing with the fact that cishet men are crossing the finish line at record speed while women are left wondering, Is that it? Spoiler alert: That should never be it. The orgasm gap is real, frustrating, and let’s be clear, completely fixable. Women aren’t asking for the moon; we’re simply asking for partners who listen, explore, and understand that our pleasure isn’t an afterthought.
So, whether you’re looking to improve your own sex life, give your partner a not-so-subtle hint, or just here to get the tea, we’ve got you. Consider this your pleasure manifesto to avoid fake moans and one-sided satisfaction. With some insight from 10 ladies, let’s get into some real talk about what women actually want in bed—and how to make sure this Valentine’s week (and every night after) is one to remember.
Ann
In bed, I am easy to please if you know you are willing to learn my body. I like guys who are teachable and open to trying new things. Let’s read the Karma Sutra together and go wherever it takes us.
Kehinde
I want more—more kissing, the kind that lingers and makes my whole body tingle. More gentleness, where every touch feels intentional, not rushed. And aftercare? Non-negotiable. I want to be held, talked to, and reassured.
Kemi
I want to be put through the floor panels from the mattress, and have my hair, back and thighs stroked afterwards.
Shayo
Orgasmmmmmm…….I’ve never had an orgasm, yet every partner I’ve been with has climaxed like clockwork. Don’t get me wrong—I enjoy intimacy, I love sex, but that earth-shattering, toe-curling, mind-blowing release everyone talks about? Still a mystery to me. And squirting? Might as well be a fairy tale at this point.
I’m still figuring out my own pleasure, hoping to finally experience IT one day. It would be nice if my partner was as bothered as I am about it.
Ugochi
I want to be worshipped, and talked through it. I want my toes sucked, and have my pussy eaten to the back! I also want to be cuddled after and be told I did good.
Joy
I like a guy who licks my ass. I know it’s kind of taboo, but I love having a guy’s tongue all up in there. Trust me, I am clean. Just looking for that guy who isn’t afraid to get nasty with me.
Oge
I want to be with a guy who loves giving head—who genuinely enjoys it, not just does it out of obligation. Trust me, I can always tell when it’s performative, and nothing kills the mood faster than someone treating it like a chore. Honestly, that’s the one thing I desperately need in bed.
Dunni
I have no idea who started the rumour that sex toys can “replace” men, but whoever they are, I sincerely hope they lose their orgasm every single time they’re about to finish.
Every time I see people talking about toys, I get curious and excited. I would love to explore them, especially with my boyfriend, but he refuses because he thinks once I start using them, I won’t need him for sex anymore. But isn’t that the whole point? Sex toys aren’t competition—they’re collaborators. So, can’t we just use them together?
Kay
I want to lead. I initiate sex often, and luckily, I have a partner who never fails to please me. But here’s the thing—he’s naturally dominant in bed.
While I love that side of him, I also want the chance to take control of my own pleasure. I want to work for my climax so I can walk away knowing, yeah, I did that.
Kelly
I want to get wild. I need a man who lets me go with the flow, who doesn’t just take control but knows when to give it up too. Because, yes, I love being dominated. Sometimes, I even crave it, but I also want the space to take the lead, to ride, to have him at my mercy for a change.
The best sex for me is free, and uninhibited. And when it’s all over? Oh, we’re debriefing. A little post-game analysis to figure out what really hit, what could be even better—because the goal is simple: keep leveling up. Wink.
