While countless women give birth every day, childbirth is never easy. We spoke with mothers who shared their experiences of giving birth to a new life.
Giving birth is one of the most powerful experiences any woman can have in her life. Yet, for many black mothers, it can also be one of the most dangerous. Across the globe, Black pregnant women are often unheard, dismissed, and left in pain during labour. In Nigeria, Africa’s most populous nation, maternal mortality rates remain among the highest in the world, with an estimated 75,000 women dying each year. These numbers are not isolated incidents, rather they reflect systemic failures. Even across the globe, Black mothers are more likely to die during childbirth than any other race. This is mostly due to inadequate care, discrimination, and a lack of support during pregnancy and delivery.
Giving birth can unfold in countless ways — no two women have the same experience, in fact no two pregnancy experiences are the same for a particular woman. For some, it’s quick and smooth; for others, it’s long and overwhelming. Many women face intense physical pain, emotional stress, and moments of real fear. It’s a process that tests the body and the mind, often pushing both to their limits.
I spoke with a few women who have gone through childbirth, and their stories reveal just how complex and varied the experience can be. From the intensity of labour to the raw emotions during delivery, they provide valuable insight into what it truly means to bring a new life into the world.
Truths about giving birth
People often wrap giving birth in soft language —“a miracle,” “a beautiful moment” — but the truth is far more complex. What they don’t tell you is how unpredictable, painful, and, at times, frightening labour can be. From long hours of waiting to emergency interventions, childbirth rarely follows the script many expect. Some women feel everything; others can sometimes feel nothing because the trauma is too much. Some feel supported, others feel invisible. There’s blood, fear, strength, and silence all in one room. And while every birth story is different, one thing remains true: we don’t say enough about what really happens between the first contraction and the first cry.
Michelle, 30, a mother of two, reflects on her experiences giving birth to her children. “For me, giving birth was something out of this world. They say childbirth is that thin line between life and death, and I felt that fully,” she said. While giving birth to her first child was easier, she had a caesarean section for her second and had to stay in hospital for two extra days. She was lucky to have the attention of her nurses and care from her loved ones. “Each of my children came into the world in a way that marked me forever. Not just as a mother, but as a woman who had walked through something scary but sacred.”
Michelle also reflected on how society often pushes women toward marriage and motherhood without preparing them for the realities of childbirth. She explained that many women enter marriage eager to start families simply because they’ve been told it’s the natural order of life. Challenging this mindset, she shares: “I don’t see children as accessories or boxes to tick; they are souls you commit to walking with for life. That’s why I believe birth should be honoured, respected, and embraced only when you’re ready to give that kind of devotion.”
Michelle’s advice to pregnant women is this: “Honour the journey. Take it one day at a time, breathe, rest, and put your well-being — and your baby’s first. Don’t rush yourself or try to keep up with the noise around you. Motherhood is a sacred calling, and when you respect both yourself and the process, you give your child the gift of entering the world through love, patience, and presence.”
The unpredictable journey of labour and delivery
Mothers should know that labour and delivery can be unpredictable and challenging in ways no one ever prepares you for. It’s not just about contractions and pushing — there can be long hours of waiting, unexpected medical decisions. There can also be intense physical and emotional moments. Pain levels vary for everyone, support systems differ, and sometimes, women feel ignored or dismissed when they need care most. Understanding that childbirth isn’t always a smooth experience helps set realistic expectations. This knowledge reminds women to advocate for themselves throughout the entire process. Being informed can make all the difference in feeling empowered during one of life’s most vulnerable times.
A mother can become informed by educating herself about the stages of labour and what to expect during delivery, including possible complications and interventions. Attending childbirth classes or workshops provides valuable insights and practical skills. Talking openly with healthcare providers ahead of time — asking questions about birth plans, pain management options, and hospital policies — helps set clear expectations. Reading books or trusted online resources written by medical professionals and experienced mothers can also offer diverse perspectives. Finally, connecting with support groups or doulas can provide emotional support and guidance, empowering mothers to advocate for their needs throughout labour and delivery.
Oyinkansola, a mother of twins, was considering the potential options for her delivery ahead of time. “When I found out I was having twins, I knew there was a high possibility of a C-section. Twins are known to come early, and if they do, I wanted the best NICU in my area.” She had never seriously thought about motherhood, finding joy in doting on her niece and embracing her role as an aunt. However, she made sure to feel ready and discuss the possibility of children with her husband. Almost a month after her wedding, she found out she was having twins. Thinking about the birthing process, Oyinkansola felt nervous. “Even though I am naturally a go-with-the-flow type of person, I was nervous about the possibility of having either an emergency C-section or giving birth vaginally. I was also aware of the high [maternal] mortality rate among black women.”
While Oyinkansola had a better delivery than most mothers, she still had some postpartum complications. “The delivery was amazing. I felt nothing and was walking later on in the day,” she recalls. She also attributes her easy delivery to having the same doctor throughout her pregnancy. That familiarity and consistency with her doctor helped. However, her postpartum journey wasn’t an easy one. “My incision would not fully heal – it was leaking like a broken tap! In fact, we had to open it up and flush it out to rule out any infection. Then I had to carry a portable vacuum for 3 weeks to fully heal the wound.”
Despite this, she didn’t allow herself to be down. “For some reason, I was not distraught. I had a wonderful pregnancy, a great delivery, the biggest support system at home, and very healthy babies at home.”
Ultimately, preparing for childbirth goes beyond packing a hospital bag; it’s about fostering the right mindset. Mothers should fully lean on existing support systems if they have it, and find communities if they don’t. They need to stay informed about the realities of labour and delivery. Every mother’s journey is different, but one thing remains constant: mental, emotional, and physical readiness can make all the difference. When women are knowledgeable and surrounded by care, they’re better equipped to face the unpredictable path of bringing life into the world. Birth is not just a medical event — it’s a life-altering transformation that deserves preparation, respect, and truth.
