All relationships can experience crises. Often, especially in romantic relationships, we feel there’s no right way to respond, so we let things take their course. However, a Harvard psychiatrist believes that a simple phrase can save any type of relationship.
In a recent episode of the YourTango podcast “Open Relationship: Transforming Together”, host Andrea Miller spoke with Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Frank Anderson about this important issue, and the expert shared some valuable advice.
When something goes wrong in a relationship, we often rush to blame others without considering our role. Yet, we are responsible for our emotions and how we handle situations, which is key to achieving emotional maturity.
As Taylor Swift famously sings, “Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” Admitting our flaws allows us to see what we need to work on. Dr. Anderson suggests a powerful tool to help with this: the phrase, “If it’s intense, then it’s our problem.” By examining our emotions through this lens, we can understand what triggered them and begin our journey of self-improvement.
Dr. Anderson emphasises that disagreements in relationships can quickly escalate. Along with using this phrase, he recommends asking ourselves why we’re reacting this way, and paying attention to past experiences that might be influencing our feelings. It’s important to identify our triggers—those situations and emotions that cause us to overreact—and work on them.
While Dr. Anderson acknowledges that we can’t always control our reactions perfectly, understanding our emotions and using this approach can help us avoid crises in our relationships that could take a significant psychological toll.
This article was syndicated from Marie Claire Greece
Translated and adapted by Praise Vandeh, Marie Claire Nigeria Content Writer
