We’ve made it easy to date with our list of things to keep in mind when searching for love.
Dating is supposed to be fun. Cocktails, flirting, the thrill of a new name lighting up your phone. And yet, somewhere between the first date and the fifth talking stage, it can become tricky and overwhelming. Questions such as “Is this real?” “Is this enough?” and “Is this going anywhere?” arise. Sometimes we find ourselves circling the same three restaurants and a relationship that turns into a situationship. Romance has expectations, whether we admit it or not, and the pressure to figure out if it’s worthwhile can drain the magic faster than a bad hinge prompt.
So if 2025 didn’t end with an engagement, a dramatic love story, or even someone worth deleting the apps for, consider this a chance to reset. We are all searching for a certain kind of love. We know it doesn’t follow calendars or resolutions, and it doesn’t arrive simply because you’re ready for it. Still, there’s a difference between dating for distraction and dating someone who actually has staying power. This is a guide for spotting the latter, the person who doesn’t just excite you, but makes the whole thing feel easier, clearer, and real.
To go or not to go?
The hardest part of dating is rarely the date itself — it’s the decision to show up. When everything feels optional, it’s tempting to overthink chemistry before it exists or wait for a spark that can only happen in person. Being decisive matters: go on the date, get to know the person, invite someone into your real life instead of endlessly screening from a distance.
At the same time, saying yes doesn’t have to mean searching for “the one” at every table. Sometimes it’s simply about momentum, pleasant conversations, and new perspectives. This is a reminder that connection is a skill you build by practising it. Even dates that don’t lead to romance can expand your social world, sharpen your instincts, and make dating feel lighter, not heavier. Think of it less as a high-stakes audition and more like assembling a life that has room for people and seeing who fits.
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Is the chemistry real, or is it just a crush?
Landmark speed-dating studies by psychologists Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel have shown that people are surprisingly bad at predicting romantic chemistry in advance; attraction often only reveals itself through real-life interaction. Real chemistry has less to do with sparks and more to do with how you feel while you’re together. It shows up in the conversation that moves naturally, moments of silence that don’t need rescuing, and laughter that is easy. You’re not editing yourself or reaching for the next impressive thing to say; you’re simply present. When you leave, you feel steady rather than unsettled, curious rather than fixated. The attraction lingers, but so does a sense of clarity. That’s often how you know it’s real: it doesn’t pull you out of yourself, it brings you closer in.
A crush tends to live in your head, while real chemistry settles into your body. With a crush, the feeling is sharp and consuming; you’re hyper-aware of how you look, what you say, how you’re coming across. There’s excitement, but it’s often tangled with nerves and fantasy, built more on who you think the person could be than who they’ve shown you they are. You replay moments, read into texts, and feel highs and lows that hinge on their attention.
One pulls you into your imagination; the other keeps you rooted in the present, wanting to know the person and be present with the person.
“A crush tends to live in your head, while real chemistry settles into your body.”
Are you heading for a situationship or a relationship?
A situationship is an undefined, low-commitment connection where expectations, exclusivity, and future plans are unclear. In contrast, people acknowledge, intend, and build a relationship on consistent communication, commitment, and shared direction.
You can tell which you’re in by looking at actions over words: relationships show reliability, clarity, and integration into each other’s lives. While situationships often involve inconsistency, avoidance of labels, and emotional ambiguity. To navigate what you want, first be honest with yourself about whether you’re seeking security or flexibility, then communicate that desire clearly. If the other person responds with alignment and follow-through, you’re moving toward a relationship, but if they resist definition or keep things vague, it’s likely a situationship, and you must decide whether that truly meets your needs.
“Relationships offer clarity. Situationships offer ambiguity.”
How does the relationship make you feel
When dating someone new, it’s easy to get caught up in how good you make them feel and forget to check in with yourself. An emotional check-in is essential. Notice whether interactions leave you energised, supported, and respected, or whether you feel anxious, drained, or uncertain. Feeling good in a relationship isn’t just a luxury; it’s a signal that your needs and boundaries are being honoured.
If you consistently compromise your well-being to keep someone else happy, it’s a red flag. The healthiest connections are reciprocal. Both people should feel valued and uplifted, not just entertained or validated. Taking the time to assess your own emotional state ensures you’re building a connection that nurtures you as much as it nurtures the other person.
“The healthiest connections are reciprocal. Both people should feel valued and uplifted, not just entertained or validated.”
Is this a forever thing?
It’s natural to wonder if the person you’re dating is the “one,” but not every connection is meant to last a lifetime, and that’s okay. Knowing when a relationship should end often comes down to a mix of reflection and honest observation. Do your values, goals, and emotional needs align? Are conflicts resolved with respect, or do they leave lasting frustration? Do you feel supported and seen, or consistently drained and misunderstood?
Relationships that have the potential to last tend to grow stronger over time, not weaker. You can imagine building a life together and still feel excitement, trust, and shared purpose. If, on the other hand, fundamental incompatibilities or repeated disappointments outweigh the joys, it may be a signal to step away. Accepting that not every love is forever doesn’t mean failure; it means making space for the connection that truly is.
Dating is about discovering a layer of yourself reflected in another person. It’s the chance to build a connection, learn, grow, and see how two lives can intersect while still honouring who you are. The best relationships don’t erase your individuality; they enhance it.
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