This week’s confession is a tender, honest reflection from a woman who has spent years battling insecurity and is now considering cosmetic surgery. From struggling with her facial features to finding strength in affirmations, she invites us into the quiet moments behind the mirror, the ones we rarely talk about.
For many of us, the journey to self-acceptance is complex, both through personal reflection and societal pressure. A lack of representation, colourist ideals, and cultural expectations often compounds that journey. .
These confessions have become a mirror to me. Every submission I read reminds me just how alike we are beneath the surface, even in our most quiet thoughts. As women, we are constantly judged, labelled, picked apart by the male gaze, commentary, and subtle comparisons. For our latest confessor, it’s been a long road of untangling external expectations from internal worth. Within her story, there’s softness, honesty, and a shared desire to feel seen.
In this honest and courageous episode of My Beauty Confessions, our confessor shares her evolving relationship with beauty, vulnerability around self-image, and her openness to cosmetic surgery. It’s not for external validation, but for her own joy.
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How her view of beauty has evolved over the years
“Beauty has always been a thing of concern for me,” she says. It shaped how she dressed, influenced her confidence, and how deserving she felt of love. Like many women, she struggled with the pressure to appear slimmer, more symmetrical, more “feminine” by societal standards.
There was one moment that quietly disrupted that narrative. In secondary school, a classmate looked at her and said she had “the most beautiful eyes.” It was the first time she felt genuinely seen for something entirely her own. That memory quietly affirmed what the world often failed to say: she was beautiful.
In time, she realised that beauty doesn’t belong to the world; it belongs to her. “For me, beauty is what I tell myself it is, not what the world tells me,” she says. That mindset shift changed everything. Instead of bending to unrealistic ideals, she started to ground herself in personal truth and self-respect.
She no longer fears being overlooked or unloved because of her appearance. That fear, she says, isn’t hers to carry any more. “It is not a reflection of me, but of the other person.” In letting that go, she’s created space to appreciate herself more fully, flaws and all. “I live and bask in the knowledge that I am well-made,” she says. “Issues like acne, facial construct and body fat don’t weigh me down like they used to.”
Instead, she’s chosen to care for her body as an act of love. “I must care and nurture my body,” she explains. “Whether that suits the world’s narrative isn’t my concern. Me first, before anyone else.”
That affirmation is a powerful reminder that beauty doesn’t need permission. It just needs presence. And she’s finally showing up for herself.
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Why she’s considering cosmetic surgery
There are parts of herself she’s still learning to accept, especially her face. “For years, I felt ugly,” she confesses. “Especially when I was with my other female friends and the boys would look and desire them and not me. It dampened my self-esteem and self-confidence.” That feeling of being unseen and undesirable left lasting marks.
Some days were harder than others. “On horrible days, I wish I could completely reconstruct my body, especially my face,” she shares. Although her self-love journey has brought healing, two features remain difficult to fully embrace. “My nose. My round face. I still struggle with both.”
So now, she’s considering cosmetic surgery. But not for anyone else. “This feeling isn’t from how others see me,” she explains. “It is just for me. I’m considering surgery for my joy and happiness.” She grounds her clarity and decision in autonomy. There is no shame in wanting change, but it must come from a healthy place.
In recent years, cosmetic procedures have become more accessible, with Black women increasingly choosing enhancements on their own terms. According to a 2020 report from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, cosmetic surgery among Black patients is on the rise, particularly facial surgeries and body contouring.
With that growth comes the need for honest reflection and professional support. Before going under any needle or scalpel, there should be a question: “Why do I want this?” For our confessor, the answer is clear — joy, peace and ownership. And that clarity matters. Mental health professionals often stress the value of body-image therapy before surgery, especially for Black women navigating both societal pressures and internalised ideals. It’s not about erasing what you’ve been given naturally, but understanding your why.
And if joy is the reason, then that’s a powerful place to begin.
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A truth about beauty she wishes more people understood
Her greatest truth about beauty is that it’s rooted in her mindset, not her features. “Beauty starts from the mind, from within,” she says. “If you don’t see it from within, no one else will.” These days, she gently reminds herself of this, especially on the days when insecurity creeps in. “I remind myself every day when I start to feel ugly,” she adds. It’s a quiet reminder that beauty is not something you choose to carry from within.
As a beauty editor, I’ve learned this lesson the hard way. We often discuss trends, techniques and treatments, but not enough about the emotional labour of being a woman in a world obsessed with perfection. I’ve stared at my face in the mirror, wishing I could shrink my nose to better “fit” my face. I’ve called my head “egg-shaped” in a derogatory manner on bad days. And though I confidently write about glow-boosting beauty products, I still sometimes catch myself second-guessing my own reflection.
That’s why our confessor’s words hit home. Her honesty is a mirror, not just for herself but for the many women who feel like beauty is always just out of reach. What if it isn’t? What if beauty really does begin the moment you stop waiting for the world to approve?
In a time of filters and endless beauty ideals, we should remember that when beauty begins in the mind, you start embodying it. And maybe that’s the real lesson: no product, compliment, or surgery can outshine the beauty that comes from finally seeing yourself.
Ready to share your beauty confessions? Fill out the form here. Whether it’s a memory, a struggle, a ritual, or a revelation, this column is a no-judgment zone. It’s where vulnerability is welcomed, stories are sacred, and no experience is too small or too bold to be told. From childhood insecurities to adult discoveries, we want to hear it all: the good, the hard, the healing.
