This Children’s Day, let’s talk about protecting children, especially girls, from the beauty ideals forced upon them by society. Children have a right to simply be kids, and we must ensure that.
Every 27 May, we celebrate children — the innocence, wonder and joy they bring to the world. They light up the lives of those around them, and we do our best to keep the world pure for them until they grow. We were all children once, and we remember the limitless potential and safety the world promised us.
While we celebrate Children’s Day this year, we must highlight the worrying beauty pressures on children. The world has always been tough — but have we made it even tougher for them? Across social media, school events, and birthday shoots, children — particularly girls — are no longer allowed to be just children. They are often preened, styled, and posed like adult women, the “mini-me” versions that people seem to applaud and find entertaining.
I understand the value of beauty and style. It’s my reality. I write about it and I live it. But I also understand their power and, more importantly, their influence on adults, not to mention young, impressionable minds. If you ask an adult when they first felt pretty, they might tell you it was when they became adults. But if you ask when they felt undesirable or ugly, they’ll often say it was in their childhood. And that stayed with them because society told them they weren’t aesthetically pleasing enough as children. Why are we in a hurry to aestheticise girlhood?
There’s a line between preparing children to embrace individuality and pushing them to perform. A line between play and pressure. And unfortunately, we are crossing it more with each passing day.
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Stop exposing children to stifling beauty standards
It is alarming to see children styled with adult makeup and wigs, projecting adult confidence. Children are inherently children and should not be pressured or presented to conform to adult appearances. They should not be propped up to fit societal beauty standards, especially as we constantly discuss its dangers on our psyche as adults.
While I understand the intention of the parents to make their children look presentable, there are age-appropriate ways to achieve that. The impact of having them go through this process is harmful. Applying excessive makeup, forcing uncomfortable outfits, or styling a child’s hair to “snatch” their face strips away a precious right: the freedom to exist as a child.
It’s okay for children to be messy sometimes. Their hair should be in ponytails and short braids, not in wigs. They should laugh mid-photo, not pout alluringly for the camera. We should stop pushing children toward polished perfection and posting their photos online for validation. In a society where appearances already carry heavy currency and consequences, what beauty ideals are we feeding these kids before they can even spell the word? Why has beauty become a burden children must carry?
As adults, we are constantly unlearning the beauty standards that were imposed on us — “lighter skin is better, “slimmer is more attractive,” “hide your stretch marks,”, and “resist aging.” We fight these ideals because we know the damage they cause. Every day, we promote self-acceptance, champion authenticity, and remind ourselves that beauty should not be a burden. Yet, somehow, we pass on these same pressures to children — little girls — who don’t even yet understand the world and their place in it. If we, despite our awareness and resistance, still struggle to break free from unrealistic beauty standards—why are we so willing to pass them on to the next generation?
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Beauty, innocence and the male gaze
We strive to protect children from our own experiences and preserve their innocence for as long as possible. It is, therefore, crucial to realise how hyper-femininity in little girls not only strips them of their childhood identity but also lays the foundation for objectification. This conversation takes a dark turn when we examine the direct link between the sexualisation of children and the male gaze.
It’s horrific to watch a child’s photo go viral just because someone commented that she “looks like a woman already”. Or admit to having an entire album filled with pictures of a stranger’s child on their phones, saved from the internet. Why should anyone think these are appropriate behaviours and comments about a child?
In a world where pedophilia often hides in plain sight and happens without reason, glamourising children is not safe. It makes them more visible to already wandering and lurking eyes. The responsibility will always lie with the predator, not the child, but we must collectively stop feeding into a system that grooms girls to see desirability as their primary value. We should protect children from such mentalities that put them in harm’s way.
It is not okay to teach children — especially girls — that their worth is dependent on how attractive they appear to others. Curating their image for likes and compliments that echo adult expectations is also unacceptable. Normalising this behaviour creates a dangerous foundation where beauty becomes currency long before they understand its weight. Children deserve to grow up free from being seen as desirable.
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Media and societal pressure
Africans hold tradition in high esteem. We dress up for parties and events in regal attire, and our children are no exception. Of course, we didn’t all wear iro and buba growing up, but there’s a clear distinction between what we wore as kids and the recent trend.
The African girl child grows up under so much pressure and expectations. We’re expected to be well-behaved, modest yet appealing and beautiful. And now, girls are also expected to always be camera-ready because it’s the age of social media. A time when mothers only reveal their children’s faces in beautiful birthday photos — nothing less is acceptable. This subtle form of conditioning bears an emotional weight on the child, who only receives praise when she looks pretty.
As someone within the media industry, I won’t absolve us of blame. The media often push narratives that tie beauty to worth, starting from infancy. Children are now monetised through campaigns and partnerships where their appearance is curated to perfection. There are even kids’ beauty influencers, barely out of primary school, booked, busy and airbrushed. While I agree that times evolve, children must see themselves represented properly in the media.
The beauty and fashion industries must do better. Our responsibility extends beyond selling products but shaping a culture that should never commodify childhood. There is a market for age-appropriate style, and we must centre it. Little girls can love hair, lip gloss, and clothes without being to look like adults before they’re ready.
Protecting children is everyone’s responsibility
Not only does it take a village to raise a child, but it also takes one to protect them. We all have a role to play in allowing children to exist as they are and in shaping a version of beauty that makes them feel secure.
Childhood should be loud, messy, curious, and joyfully unfiltered. They deserve the freedom to explore themselves without being shaped by adult beauty ideals. It’s okay for a girl to dress like a princess or wear a cartoon t-shirt to her birthday party if that’s what she wants. She can rock natural hair and still look neat. There’s no need to enforce a certain aesthetic, and as we know, there are many pitfalls of that.
If we truly want to honour children — on Children’s Day and every other day — we must let them grow without performance, pressure, or preening. The world will be loud soon enough; let’s not steal the silence too early.
Let kids be kids.
